I understand that America is fucked up. I understand you’re angry about it. Still, you might as well vote.

Newsweek gave the U.S. Citizenship Test to 1,000 Americans, for some reason (boredom?), and 38 percent failed. Twenty-nine percent couldn't even name the vice president! (Is it Jeff something? Or Josh?) How should we react?

Being high school pals with Jeffrey Dahmer is a great way to get out of jury duty.

New York's wonderful old mechanical lever voting machines are now officially dead. And you probably missed your last chance to use them, when you forgot to vote against Bloomberg. Now we will use terrible electronic vote-stealing machines.