♦ A recap of what happened on Wall Street yesterday, just in case you've been asleep for the last 36 hours. [NYT]
♦ In a statement this morning President Bush said he was disappointed the bailout bill didn't pass and warned that "painful and lasting'' economic damage will follow if a settlement isn't reached. Then, like the rest of Congress, he used Rosh Hashanah as an excuse to skip out for the rest of the day. [CNNMoney, Bloomberg]
♦ Wall Street bonuses could be down as much as 50 percent this year. [DB]
♦ Mitsubishi has completed its deal to invest $9 billion in Morgan Stanley; thanks to yesterday's market it's only down $500 million since the deal was announced last week. [NYT]

You think you're stressed about the economic meltdown? Just look at what it's done to Hank Paulson's face. Click here to enlarge the image.

♦ Tom Ford would like you to know that he has not had any work done to that stubbly face of his: "I haven't had any plastic surgery—despite what people think, this is my nose... I have had Restylane and Botox, but I don't think of that as plastic surgery any more. It's true I can't really frown, but I can move my eyebrows." Not discussed: Ford's Piven-like hairline. [Guardian]
♦ Kate Moss's lipsticked self-portrait went for £33,600 at auction, while her ex Pete Doherty's self-portrait, also for sale, failed to find a buyer. He can soon look forward to her upstaging him musically, too: Moss has announced she's giving up modeling for music. [Holy Moly!, Now]

The Sun will publish its last paper tomorrow, says a rep. [Gawker, FBNY]

♦ Tom Colicchio is opening two more 'wichcraft locations in Midtown. [GS]
♦ Despite an appearance on Kitchen Nightmares last week, Black Pearl on West 26th Street has closed its doors. [Eater]
♦ An update on the UWS branch of Shake Shack, which remains under construction. [Eater]
♦ Not only is Daniel Boulud not worried about the recession, he also happens to be opening a new restaurant called Secession. [WSJ]

As if today's market plunge wasn't troubling enough, here's another bit of ominous news to keep you up tonight: The ad campaign for Paris Hilton's fifth fragrance, "Fairy Dust," was unveiled today. (A larger version of the ad is here.) The perfume's tag line: "Do you believe in fairy tales?" We're not so sure we do, although sprinking a little fairy dust on the bureaucrats mucking things up in Washington (not to mention the Wall Streeters sweating like pigs) couldn't possibly hurt right now, could it? [People StyleWatch]

The full list of who voted in favor of—and against—the Wall Street bailout. [DailyKos]

Legendary defense attorney Eddie Hayes is very concerned about the economy. Well, at least as it relates to the city's population of strippers and hookers, a world with which he's intimately acquainted: "The strippers are getting killed—it's terrible," he told the Washington Post over the weekend. "It really started in the last month. What they really need are the guys who go in and spend $500." To those bankers who are still employed: You've got your charity work cut out for you. [WaPo via NYO]

Lobster-loving chef Rebecca Charles has lived just a few blocks away from her Cornelia Street restaurant, Pearl Oyster Bar, for years. But it looks like she'll soon be headed north: Charles closed on a Flatiron district apartment for $2.425 million, according to public records posted today. The two-bedroom, 2,000-square-foot loft at 14 West 17th Street features original maple floors, exposed brick, and, of course, a gourmet chef's kitchen. Charles' new floorplan after the jump.

House Rejects Bailout Package, 228-205; Stocks Plunge [NYT]
Bailout Bill Fails in House Vote Amid Defections in Both Parties [WSJ]

♦ Will Project Runway move to Lifetime from Bravo? NBC won the first legal battle against PR producer Harvey Weinstein on Friday, which means it's not entirely clear where the show will end up. [NYT]
♦ The Sun may publish an issue tomorrow after all. [Portfolio]
♦ Tina Fey to the rescue: Saturday Night Live has seen a major boost in ratings so far this season. [THR]
♦ Vanity Fair on the face-off between Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett. [VF]
♦ An Indian version of GQ debuts this month. [Guardian]
♦ Howard Kurtz says unseen clips of Katie Couric's interview with Sarah Palin are on the way; CBS says it has released everything it's got. [HuffPo]
♦ The Times looks back at the drunken career of the Post's Steve Dunleavy, who's retiring after 41 years in the business. [NYT]
♦ The Wall Street Journal has launched a mail-order wine club. Really. [NYT]

Wall Street's masters of the universe may be fixated on a government bailout/handout, but Russian oligarchs have picked up their slack in buying up the world's priciest houses, dating supermodels and amassing all the Faberge eggs and Damien Hirsts the global art market can offer. The director of London's Gagosian Gallery says that buyers from Russia and the former Soviet Union now make up nearly half of Gagosian's total sales worldwide. Maybe it's time for Larry to start brushing up on his Russian? [Bloomberg]

What do you do if you operate an escort service or massage parlor in the city and you can't rely on advertising your business in the back pages of New York magazine or the New York Press? (Both titles dropped sex ads in 2007 under pressure from the National Organization for Women.) You take to YouTube, apparently. There are a handful of local escort companies now using the site to serve up R-rated videos that hint at the decidedly more X-rated services they offer. The videos themselves don't feature any nudity—just a bunch of sad women dancing in bikinis in front of the camera—although if you head to the sites advertised on the bottom of the screen, you'll see that a lot more than a strip tease is available. (One site promises that your escapade will be "100% ANONAMOUS," just in case the Spitzer saga has you worried.) After the jump, a handful of amusing New York City hooker videos for your afternoon enjoyment.

What group hates Sarah Palin more than any other? Women who happen to live in New York City, according to the crew of Fox & Friends, who even came up with a nifty new term for it, too: Palin Derangment Syndrome. [Jezebel]

The price of marrying someone much younger and prettier than yourself is that they might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer. Uber-cougar Ivana Trump can laugh about it, though, as she did when her fourth and current husband, thirty-something Italian Rossano Rubicondi, put his lifejacket on the wrong way during an emergency drill aboard a Mediterranean cruise. "If something happens, you're floating facedown," she admonished him. Given Ivana's propensity for falling down on yachts, someone needs to keep their wits about them! [Page Six Magazine]

Celebrity dermatologist Nicholas Perricone—who has become as well-known for his scandalously acrimonious divorce as for his shtick that eating salmon keeps wrinkles at bay—is concerned about the popularity of Botox and fillers. No, it's not that their effectiveness makes his potential customers much less likely to pay outrageous sums for his skincare products, perish the thought. It's just that cosmetic procedures "all cause inflammation and trauma and I'm not sure this is the best strategy for maintaining a youthful face. The problem with science is that there's a flavor of the month and people get excited, and a lot of it is driven by economics." Whereas he is driven solely by an altruistic desire to help people look pretty, and if that means building a multimillion dollar cosmeceuticals empire and writing bestsellers, well, so be it.

Following four hours of debate, the House voted on the bailout a moment ago and the bill didn't pass, although negotiations are still taking place to try and drum up support. Meanwhile the market is tanking amid concern the $700 billion package won't be enough. Perhaps now would be a good time to round up to a trillion? [CNBC, WSJ, CNN]

Guest of a Guest reports that supermarket mogul Ron Burkle is the mystery man paying $30,000 a month for the penthouse loft at the Bowery Hotel. We have no idea if it's true, although we imagine being just an elevator ride away from watching Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson make out would be quite the draw for the lecherous billionaire. [GoaG]

America is full of out-of-control sex addicts, haven't you heard? In fact, the problem is so bad that even Chris Wilson, the hard-partying former Page Six staffer (and now deputy editor of Maxim) is seriously disturbed by the trend: "The other night I was flying on American Airlines, which recently began offering unfiltered Internet access, and the guy next to me was either pleasuring himself to online porn, or whittling something under his blanket. Thankfully, I had a copy of Departures to shield my face, but it was still pretty uncomfortable." [Page Six Magazine]

Matt Damon unpacking luggage with his wife and daughter in front of his apartment building on Lafayette Street ... Britney Spears arriving at JFK ... Cameron Diaz walking in the Village with boyfriend Paul Sculfor ... David and Victoria Beckham making an appearance at Macy's in Herald Square for the launch of their new fragrance ... Taylor Momsen on the set of Gossip Girl in Queens ... Katie Holmes carrying Suri and then later heading to dinner with Tom at Il Valentino on East 56th Street ... Anne Hathaway leaving the premiere of The Class at Avery Fisher Hall ... Jennifer Hudson at the airport ... James Franco looking at his Blackberry ... Brooke Shields leaving NBC after an appearance on Conan O'Brien's show ... and Michelle Williams leaving the premiere of her new movie, Wendy and Lucy, at the Ziegfeld Theater.