Heiress/self-proclaimed journalist Lydia Hearst is stepping down as a columnist for Page Six magazine. Why? She claims the column published in yesterday's issue—the one in which she criticizes her family's publishing company for throwing parties amid a recession—wasn't actually written by her. A more likely explanation: Someone explained to Lydia that it's probably not a great idea to bite the hand that feeds you (especially when it doesn't take much to be disinherited!), and suggested she backpedal as quickly as possible. [GoaG, previously]

Hope you didn't register to vote using one of the forms provided by Rock the Vote: Every single one of the 173,000 New York State voter applications downloaded from the group's site was printed with the wrong address, which means thousands of newly-registered voters can expect to be turned away at the polls if the mess isn't sorted out before then. But if the mix-up is fixed before November 4th, you'll have Anne Hathaway to thank for your constitutional right: When she recorded an ad for the group a couple of weeks ago, organizers realized she hadn't registered to vote either, since her voter registration forms got lost, too. [NYT, City Room]

For the very wealthy, losing your shirt now has a potential new benefit: You can finally get divorced without your partner walking away with a comfortable settlement! Says one lawyer: "I've had several clients come to me recently and say, 'I've wanted to get divorced for years but didn't want to give up half of my business. Now that my business is not worth anything, wouldn't it be a good time to do it?'" Isn't human nature delightful? [Time]

Hilary Duff attending a charity event at Roberto Clemente Elementary School on East 4th Street ... Jessica Simpson leaving her hotel with her dog Daisy ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts walking on Lafayette Street with son Alexander ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving an office building in Midtown ... Madonna leaving the Kabbalah Center with her kids ... Katie Holmes leaving her apartment in the East Village ... Tom Cruise leaving Matt Lauer's Friars Club roast at the Hilton in Midtown ... Pink walking in SoHo with her dad ... Access Hollywood's Nancy O'Dell leaving her hotel ... Taylor Momsen on the Gossip Girl set ... Keira Knightley on the set of her new film in SoHo ... and Tim Robbins playing roller hockey in the West Village.

Promoting his new women's perfume White Patchouli, Tom Ford reflects on his decades in the fashion industry and dismisses suggestions that his success is only made possible by his being an impossible diva: "I don't think I'm a megalomaniac," he starts off. "Do I throw tantrums? Yes. But more with Richard [Buckley, his boyfriend] at home if he's forgotten to buy milk." [Times UK]

You might want to think twice before stopping by Alexis Stewart's apartment uninvited: The daughter of domestic diva Martha Stewart has a permit to keep a loaded gun at home, according to the Post. Other notable locals with gun licenses include David Wright and Carlos Delgado of the Mets, Robert De Niro, billionaire supermarket mogul John Catsimatidis, and Donald Trump. (Two of Trump's sons, Eric and Donald Jr., also have licenses to keep firearms at home; Ivanka Trump's apartment is gun-free.) But it's Alexis, who recently launched a new TV series on the Fine Living channel, who may have the creepiest explanation for why she feels the need to keep a gun in a lockbox in her TriBeCa apartment: She keeps it in case an emergency forces her to abandon the city and she has to euthanize her elderly dogs. "They could never make it out of Manhattan. I could never leave my dogs to die of thirst in my apartment, so I looked on it as a euthanasia situation. I would never kill my pets unless they were going to die anyway."

♦ Philippe Pascal, the head of LVMH's watch and jewelry division (left), has paid $4.3 million for a two-bedroom apartment on the 14th floor of 955 Fifth. [Cityfile]
♦ Goldman Sachs managing director Lester Brafman paid $3.5 million for a three-bedroom apartment at 1165 Park Avenue. Presumably he'll combine it with the adjacent unit that he already owns. [Cityfile]
♦ Hedge funder Scott Bessent has listed his duplex at One Sutton Place South for $12.5 million, just $500,000 more than he paid for it 15 months ago. [NYT, Brown Harris Stevens]
♦ Alex Rodriguez's 8,310-square-foot mansion in Coral Gables, Florida, is on the market for $14.876 million. [Access H'wood, Coldwell Banker]

In case you missed it, the video of Elisabeth Hasselbeck's introduction of Sarah Palin at a rally this past weekend is below.

Does it feel like you're losing money in the market with each passing day? Talk to Eddie Lampert. According to the Post, the hedge fund billionaire has been losing $30 million an hour for the past month as his investments in Sears/Kmart, AutoZone, and Citigroup have plunged. [NYP]

When those photos of Isla Fisher dressed up in ridiculous outfits as shopaholic Becky Bloomwood started floating around early last summer, it didn't seem as if Jerry Bruckheimer, the producer of the Confessions of a Shopaholic movie, was taking much of a risk with his frothy, comic chick flick. How was he to know that just six months later, reckless spending and drowning in debt would be a horribly sore subject?

Writer and humorist Fran Lebowitz turns 58 today. Internet muckraker Matt Drudge is 42. Financier J. Christopher Flowers turns 51. Musician Scott Weiland is 41. Duran Duran's Simon Le Bon is 50. Kelly Osbourne is 24. Director Ivan Reitman in 62. Actor John Cleese is celebrating his 69th. British author Zadie Smith is 33. And Donald Trump's second wife, Marla Maples, turns 45 today.

♦ Another bad day ahead? U.S. futures are down sharply after losses in Asia and Europe. [Marketwatch]
♦ The Fed starts making loans to American companies today. [WSJ]
♦ Turns out there were some pretty dark days at Goldman last month: Lloyd Blankfein called Citi chief Vikram Pandit to discuss a merger just after Lehman went bankrupt. [FT, WSJ]
♦ Citadel's Ken Griffin remains in the hot seat after rumors of steep losses led him to hold a rare conference call on Friday evening. [NYP, NYT]

Grim news for all those who were hoping that the upper-end of the Manhattan real estate market would prove immune to global financial crisis: Brooke Astor's former duplex at 778 Park Avenue is now on the market for $35 million, down from its previous asking price of $46 million, according to WWD. Corcoran broker Leighton Candler hasn't confirmed the reduction, nor has the official listing been updated to reflect the new price. In the meantime, you can look over a few photos of the newly-discounted spread after the jump. [WWD via NYO]

♦ Lauren Hutton is the new face of the Olsens' clothing line, reportedly, although it's not clear whether that means the younger Elizabeth and James label or the more high-end The Row. Ashley Olsen on the 64-year-old actress: "She's just a wise woman and she's a traveler and she's obviously a style icon." [Vogue UK]
♦ The Olsens' appearance on Oprah yesterday was noteworthy for many reasons, but none more than the fact that Ashley totally lies about what she eats for breakfast. [Fashionista]
♦ Donatella Versace must not be too worried about the recession: Versace is launching a perfume in a "that comes in a gleaming, hand-stitched white leather train case." The price: $2,100. [WWD]

Nine signs your boss is about to fire you. [BusinessSheet]

♦ Sirio Maccioni is already looking at replacements for Le Cirque chef Christophe Bellanca. [Page Six]
♦ Julian Niccolini says says his customers at the Four Seasons aren't skipping power lunches because of Wall Street's woes, although they do seem to be ordering cheaper wines. [GS]
♦ The Eldridge's Matt Levine confirms the existence of laser-engraved admissions cards; he won't comment on whether Prince has ever turned up at the nightspot. [The Feedbag]
♦ A preview of what you can expect from Dovetail's brunch service, which starts this weekend. [GS]

It wasn't quite as bad as some feared this morning, but the stock market still took another beating today. The Dow Jones Industrial Average fell 312 points, or 3.6 percent, to close at 8,378, its lowest level in more than five years. If you've made a conscious effort to avoid looking at your 401K the past few weeks, now is probably not the time to start. The Dow has now tumbled 26.6 percent since Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy in mid-September. [AP, Marketwatch]

Movie producer Kathryn Tucker (and the estranged wife of indie film mogul John Sloss) mentioned today that a certain senator's wife has been "desperate" for her help getting his/her kids into preschool? Who is it? We're not sure, but we'd love to find out! [NYO]

It happens in threes, it seems: Radar magazine was shuttered earlier today. Then came the news that 02138, the glossy mag for Harvard grads, was closing down. Now Fashion Week Daily is reporting that Elle Accessories has folded, too.

If you're looking for a cheap but stylish place to put up your relatives this holiday season, you now have a new option to add to the list of possibilities: the Guggenheim. The "theanyspacewhatever" exhibit, which opens today, features a "Revolving Hotel Room," an art installation that doubles as an actual hotel room. The space sleeps two and rates for the room start at just $259 a night, making it as affordable as the Holiday Inn in Midtown.