You do know how to pronounce Dolce & Gabbana and Gucci, don't you? You're not one of those people who pronounces Hermès as "Her-meees," are you? In case you've been having trouble with the names of foreign fashion designers, the Imperial Hotel Management College in Vancouver has uploaded clips to YouTube to demonstrate how it's done. As The Moment points out, though, the school "seems to conflate the house's proper pronunciation with the accent of its country of origin." (In other words, follow the school's instructions and you may end up sounding dumb and/or incredibly pompous.) Worse still: A couple of the clips featuring the names of French designers sound as if they were recorded by French-Canadians, which may very well be a crime graver than the one committed against the House of Versace by Elizabeth Berkley's character in Showgirls. [The Moment via Gawker]

• The late night battle rages on: After losing ground to Letterman, Conan bounced back last night, and had a pretty solid first week overall. [THR, NYT]
• Boston-based Intercontinental Real Estate Corp. confirms that it has been talks with the New York Times Co. to purchase the Boston Globe. [BH]
• Stephen Colbert's decision to broadcast from Iraq worked out nicely: Ratings for the Comedy Central show have been up 25 percent this week. [NYT]
• Joy Behar is launching a new talk show on HLN. The best part about it: She'll be bumping blowhard Lou Dobbs from his 9pm slot on the network. [NYT]
• TV, print and online ad spending fell 14 percent in the first quarter. [WSJ]
• Hope you're a Marley & Me fan. HarperCollins is cemented a deal to publish 13 children's books about the world's most famous Labrador. Yes, 13. [PW]

Men.Style.com and Kanye West hosted the "The Women of Fashion 2009" at the New York Palace Hotel last night. Intrepid nightlife reporter Douglas Marshall caught up with Kanye to ask him about, well, women and fashion:

Mayor Bloomberg says the city will launch an investigation into who permitted an inmate at the Tombs to host a bar mitzvah for his son inside the prison, an event that included catered food, 60 guests, and six hours of hora dancing. "Clearly, this is not something that should have taken place," Bloomberg said this afternoon. Should we take this as a sign Bernie Madoff's jailhouse Passover seder is not happening next year? [NYP]

Vanity Fair's John Heilpern invited Eliot Spitzer out to lunch recently. Given VF's apparently recession-proof budget, the Spitz could have proposed feasting on a giant platter of caviar at the Four Seasons. Did he? No, he did not:

Real estate mogul Harry Macklowe made the worst business decision of his life in 2007 when he agreed to spend $7.25 billion to acquire a collection of office buildings in Midtown controlled by Steve Schwarzman's Blackstone Group. (Blackstone had acquired the buildings in 2006 as part of its buyout of Sam Zell's Equity Office Properties.) It's been a long, hard road for Macklowe since then. Creditors have since reclaimed 11 of the properties that Macklowe's real estate firm once controlled, including the iconic GM Building and, as of last week, Worldwide Plaza. The Observer surveys the carnage today, if you're interested in reading about Macklowe's misery in more detail. The good news, if there is any, is that Macklowe hasn't had to sit at his desk and watch his empire unravel over the past few months. He handed over control of the firm to son Billy Macklowe last year, so Billy's been the one with that super-fun job. [NYO]

This summer, when you spot yet another New Yorker vamping around in a pair of perfectly round glasses these are the people you should blame for turning our city into a perpetual Harry Potter lookalike contest: Malian photographer Malick Sidibé, John Lennon and the cast of Hair. At least those are the suspects Eric Wilson IDs in a typically absurdist, slightly loveable Styles section story about why Marc Jacobs, Proenza Schouler, Ralph Lauren, Zegna, Lanvin and others have suddenly started pushing sunglasses your dad thought were cool circa 1968.

This is not turning into a very good week for New York City's nascent pedicab industry. A pedicab speeding down the bike lane of the Williamsburg Bridge crashed into a taxi cab yesterday, injuring the driver and two of his three passengers. ("We were telling him to 'Slow down! Slow down! Stop!' But he just kept going," says one of the people inside.) In a totally unrelated incident yesterday, a "confused" pedicab driver was arrested by Port Authority cops after he tried to peddle through the Lincoln Tunnel. The driver, who was arrested for trespassing, explained to officers that he knew he wasn't allowed to enter the tunnel, but he'd gotten "lost." Makes sense! Remember that time you were casually strolling down Tenth Avenue and you suddenly realized you were in Hoboken? It must have been just like that. [NYT, NYDN]

Alessandra Ambrosio leaving Bar Pitti with daughter Anja Louise ... Penn Badgley talking on his cell phone in the Village ... Jessica Biel dropping off a package at a FedEx ... Beyonce leaving JFK ... Whitney Port eating lunch in the West Village ... Kathy Griffin leaving her hotel in Midtown ... Ashley Olsen walking downtown ... Heather Locklear arriving at JFK with boyfriend Jack Wagner ... Robert Pattinson getting in a taxi ... Kate Hudson leaving her West Village home with son Ryder ... Rihanna going to a Black Eyed Peas concert at The Griffin ... Alec Baldwin drinking coffee with a friend in Bridgehampton ... Sarah Jessica Parker eating breakfast at Morandi ... John Stamos wandering around ... Hugh Grant leaving a downtown restaurant with a "mystery woman" ... Jeff Goldblum and Rachel McAdams hanging out on the set of Morning Glory ... Gerard Butler walking around ... Nick Jonas arriving at LaGuardia ... and Jessica Simpson going to dinner at La Esquina.

• Billionaire financier John Paulson has finally unloaded his house in Southampton, albeit for about $10 million less than he'd hoped to sell it for. The 7,000-square-foot home, which Paulson picked up for $12.75 million in 2006 and put up for sale for $19.5 million in 2008 before later dropping the price twice, just sold to an anonymous buyer for $9.99 million. [NYP]
• Karen and David Fleiss are cutting prices again at 1030 Fifth Avenue. The couple, who have tried just about everything to sell the 16-room duplex they first listed for $47.5 million last June (including dividing the apartment in two), have reduced the price of the bottom-floor unit from $11 million to $9.95 million. [Cityfile, PDE, previously]
• Now that she's no longer with the Count, "Real Housewife" LuAnn de Lesseps has moved out of the couple's rented townhouse on East 62nd Street. She's currently staying at her Bridgehampton place where she's supposedly "contemplating her next real estate move." [NYP]

How much does it cost to take the sting out of commuting around New York? $144,014. That's how much Senator Chuck Schumer spent between October 2008 and March 2009 on travel, more than any Senator but one. (Republican John Cornyn of Texas spent more, after dragging 59 of his staffers to a retreat in St. Michaels, Maryland). According to Politico.com, Schumer took 25 chartered flights to various locations around New York State, most within 30 minutes of an international airport, at $1,000 to $7,000 a trip, running up a travel tab that's ten times more than some of his colleagues.

• Showdown in DC: Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis is testifying before a House committee today and getting a pounding, as expected. [WSJ, Dealbreaker]
• Will Citigroup ever get its house in order? FDIC boss Sheila Bair would like some answers, not that the board—or Vikram Pandit—have any. [NYT]
• Jim Simons held talks recently to sell a stake in his hedge fund, Renaissance Technologies, but has decided against retiring for the time being. [WSJ]
• BlackRock is close to a deal to acquire Barclays Global Investors for $13 billion; the deal would make the Larry Fink-led company the world's largest money manager, with $2.8 trillion in assets under management. [WSJ]
• JPMorgan Chase is acquiring the piece of Glenn Dubin and Henry Swieca's Highbridge Capital Management that it does not already own. [DB]
• AIG is moving out of its downtown HQ now that the company has sold off the real estate to a Korean bank and a US developer for $100+ million. [FT]
• Better than expected unemployment data and retail sales figures have lifted the major markets this morning. [CNN, BN, CNN]

There haven't been too many reasons for New York Times Co. CEO Janet Robinson to celebrate in recent months. But today there is! Robinson turns 59 today. Other people with something to smile about today: Charlie Rangel is turning 79. Shia LaBeouf is 23. Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren turns 55. Actor Peter Dinklage is 40. Public advocate Betsy Gotbaum turns 71. Cardiologist (and Oprah BFF) Mehmet Oz is turning 49. Mets shortstop José Reyes is 26. Hugh Laurie is 50. Actor Joshua Jackson is turning 31. Former housing secretary Henry Cisneros is 62. And former football great Joe Montana turns 53 today.

• The guy behind the Campbell Apartment in Grand Central is turning part of the Empire State Building's ground floor into a swanky bar. For reals. [Eater]
• The new Jane Hotel and Ballroom, owned by ever-expanding hoteliers Sean MacPherson and Eric Goode, officially opened last night. [Thrillist, Eater]
• Bruni visits Soho's Savoy in this week's Times, reaffirms its two stars. [NYT]
• Both Ryan Sutton and the Danyelle Freeman weigh in on Table 8. [BN, NYDN]
• For his part, TONY's Jay Cheshes gives Harbour five out of six stars. [TONY]
• Steve Cuozzo hits up "the Bowery's new Big Enchilada," aka DBGB. [NYP]
• If you've fantasized about turning your living room into a replica of the Gramercy Park Hotel's late Wakiya, you may want to note that all the restaurant's fixtures and furniture go up for sale next week. [GS]
• Europe's big rosé crisis has been settled. What a relief. [NYT]

Bethenny Frankel's decision to wear a see-through dress to the Apollo's 75th anniversary gala on Monday night? Another publicity stunt, clearly. But you've got to give it to her for doing whatever it takes to stir up some media attention. An ass cheek one week, a boob the next: no body part shall go unexploited. [HuffPo via NYM]

Polo-playing paper tycoon Peter Brant has had plenty of drama on his plate in recent weeks. His divorce from Stephanie Seymour has only been getting messier by the day. (Last week, the ex-supermodel got into a shoving match with one of Brant's bodyguards at the couple's Greenwich estate; over the weekend, she was issued a summons after another run-in with Brant's staff.) But that isn't the only crisis unfolding in the house of Brant. The convicted felon—Brant served 84 days in prison in 1990 after pleading guilty to tax fraud—is now watching Interview, the art/fashion mag founded by Andy Warhol and which Brant has controlled since the late 1980s, crumble to pieces. And it's all happened under the not-very-watchful eye of the man that Brant appointed to oversee his collection of magazines—his equally scandal-plagued son, Ryan Brant.

Based on the VIP preview yesterday and the early round of sales today, it looks like Art Basel is not, repeat not, going to tank thanks to the craphole global economy. The Art Newspaper reports that spirits are high, big-name buyers such as Steve Schwarzman, Wilbur Ross, and Eli Broad are all on hand and ready to buy, and the art is the best it's been all year. "I'm not saying the bull market is back," says Sandy Heller, the art adviser who caters to art-collecting tycoons like hedge funder Steve Cohen. "But I'm saying the art market needed a good fair and this is it." Heck, Brad Pitt dropped a mil on a Neo Rauch painting yesterday.

Kyra Sedgwick and her husband Kevin Bacon lost some money to Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, as you probably heard, but they weren't completely wiped out. "The fact of the matter is that we did not lose everything," Sedgwick says in an interview with the AP. "I think the interesting thing about it was that I always thought, 'We're so boring. We should be in the tabloids more. C'mon honey, let's have a scandal.' ... And I think when you say 'no comment,' that's, of course, where they're going to go, because it's fun, and it grabs headlines and people will be more interested." Not sure "fun" is the right word, but it certainly was a sexier angle to the story than focusing on another elderly Jewish couple in Boca. [AP]

Citigroup could be focusing its attention on salvaging what remains of the broken bank, or restoring what remains of its reputation. Or it could just keep filing lawsuits against people over silly little things and charge it back to taxpayers. Not content, apparently, with flexing its muscle in the mobile billboard market and illustrious pawn shop industry, Citigroup's team of $900-an hour attorneys is now focusing its firepower on a website called Womenco.com, which bills itself as a networking site for "career-minded women," and is owned by Monster.com. Citi, you see, operates a female-centric money management business called Women & Co. and the bank is now concerned that the public will confuse its "women" with their "women." So Citi slapped the company with a lawsuit on Monday, arguing that WomenCo.com violated its trademark and is threatening its status as "one of the largest and most renowned banking and financial institutions in the United States and throughout the world." (Citigroup's words, not ours, obviously.) The full suit is below, if you'd like to have a look. You might as well. You paid for it.

• It's only been a week since Conan took over the top-rated Tonight Show, but David Letterman has already passed over him in the ratings. [NYT]
• Also: Dave Letterman's new contract will keep him at CBS through '12. [LAT]
• Yesterday the Boston Globe's largest union rejected the New York Times Co.'s proposed package of cuts. The NYT responded by implementing a 23 percent pay cut anyway and now the union is taking the matter to court. [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Lou Dobbs. And thank God for that. [NYO]
• It's official: Ari Emanuel is the new Mike Ovitz! Both the New York Times and The Daily Beast invoke Ovitz's name in lengthy pieces on "the pre-eminent power player in Hollywood" and "Hollywood's new don." [NYT, TDB]
• Sound the alarms! Swine flu has returned to Condé Nast! [Daily Intel]