New York's bad-ass attorney general, Andrew Cuomo, has been looking into compensation on Wall Street for, like, nine months now. And now the fruits of his labor have been unveiled for all to see! Cuomo released a report today called "No Rhyme or Reason: The 'Heads I Win, Tails You Lose' Bank Bonus Culture," in which he says—surprise!—big banks don't usually tie annual compensation to performance, and still pay out massive bonuses even in years when they don't record a profit. How surprising! (It's a good thing we don't tie the state tax rate to the performance of elected officials, too.) Unfortunately, Cuomo's 22-page report doesn't include the names of these Wall Streeters who are raking it in, but he does share a few facts you may find interesting.

Is Rudy Giuliani planning to run for governor? He's been flirting with the idea for months now. And he still isn't saying, suggesting this morning that the decision will ultimately depend on how "bad" things get in New York: "I got elected mayor, I believe, on the theory of—it can't get worse. So if it gets to that point, maybe I'll decide [to go for it]." And how much worse do things have to get before he decides to throw his hat into the ring?

Cityfile has partnered with Dr. Helen Fisher to bring you the latest insight into love and romantic attraction. A renowned biological anthropologist, Dr. Fisher has conducted extensive research in the fields of human sexuality, love and marriage. She serves as Chief Scientific Advisor for the internet dating site Chemistry.com.

The sculptor who created the famous "Charging Bull" statue downtown has filed a lawsuit against Random House for putting a photo of the piece on the cover of A Colossal Failure of Common Sense, a new book about Lehman Brothers' collapse. Arturo Di Modica, the sculptor responsible for the work, says Random House didn't have his permission to use a picture. The only problem? Di Modica never had permission to put the statue there in the first place:

The Pew Research Center is back with some groundbreaking news to share. Apparently, people who happen to be unemployed tend to nap a little bit more during the week than those who have jobs to go to every day. But people who work regular jobs from Monday to Friday typically nap a bit more on weekends. Crazy, huh? Then again, as the Times reports today, the study didn't really explain what a nap is: "The survey did not precisely define what constitutes a nap. Some people claim they are just resting their eyes when they are really snoozing. Others may doze momentarily when reading articles about demographic trends." [NYT]

A couple of days ago, Vanity Fair contributing editor Vicky Ward reported that Andrés Piedrahita, Walter Noel's son-in-law and a senior exec at Fairfield Greenwich, recently took possession of a $30 million yacht, and has since been spotted cruising the Mediterranean. Piedrahita's response? He's just showing off the boat to potential buyers, silly.

Ali Wise, the publicist and social fixture accused of hacking into another socialite's voicemail, is going to have plenty of time to work on her defense from now on. WWD reports today that Wise is longer employed by Dolce & Gabbana. (Unfortunately, the fashion house wouldn't "elaborate" on her departure, so we don't know the specifics.) Don't think she's sitting at home watching bad television and eating ice cream, though. Judging by the number of exclamation points, it seems like she was in a pretty good mood last night when she headed out to attend the Pete Yorn concert. [WWD]

Julianne Moore crossing the street in the Village ... Jennifer Aniston leaving her trailer on the set of The Bounty ... Russell Brand shopping in SoHo ... Elisabeth Hasselbeck eating an apple in the back seat of a Town Car ... Kim Kardashian walking under an umbrella ... Penn Badgley leaving Silvercup Studios in Queens ... Queen Latifah riding a bike in Central Park for her new movie, Just Wright ... Rihanna leaving an office building in Tribeca ... Hugh Dancy walking into MTV Studios on Times Square ... and Leighton Meester going to see Katy Perry perform at the Hammerstein Ballroom with boyfriend Sebastian Stan.

• A sixth-floor apartment at The Dakota, which is owned by an unidentified "Wall Street executive," has been cut for the third time since hitting the market in June 2008 with a $24 million price tag. The four-bedroom co-op is now listed for a mere $12.5 million. [Cityfile, BHS]
• Investment banker (and onetime deputy mayor) Peter J. Solomon is reportedly the buyer in contract to buy the former East Hampton estate of the late actress Mary Howard de Liagre. Solomon is paying "close to" the $22.5 million asking price for the estate, which includes a 3,500-square-foot home, 300 feet of waterfront, and a dock. [NYP, Sotheby's]
• Investor Enrique Foster Gittes has once again cut the price of his 13,000-square-foot mansion at 12 East 63rd Street. The six-floor townhouse, which Gittes bought for $8.8 million in 2005, put on the market for $28.75 million in April, and reduced to $24.95 million last month, is now on the market with Brown Harris Stevens' Paula Del Nunzio for $23.5 million. [Cityfile, BHS]

Hilary Swank turns 35 today. Restaurateur Keith McNally is turning 58. Lisa Kudrow is 46. The former bodybuilder and actor who is now the Governor of California is 62. Director Peter Bogdanovich is turning 70. Bud Selig, the commissioner of Major League Baseball, is 75. Director Richard Linklater is turning 49. Laurence Fishburne is 48. Park Avenue plastic surgeon David Hidalgo is 57. Former MTV exec (and now Oprah disciple) Christina Norman is turning 46. Ad agency CEO Chuck Brymer is 50. Food Network host Alton Brown is turning 47. Tom Green is 38. Vivica A. Fox is turning 45. Jaime Pressly is 32. Anita Hill is 53. And Paul Anka turns 68 today.

• Jude Law's rep says that the actor recently found out that he's expecting a fourth child. The mom? She's "an unidentified former lover." Congrats? [EW, People]
• It was less than two weeks ago that Mischa Barton was put under psychiatric care after she going on a drug-fueled bender and suffering a breakdown. Now she's in NYC, putting in long hours playing a character with a drug problem. Maybe this isn't the best idea? [NYDN]

If you suspected that Ivy Supersonic, the Howard Stern groupie and self-described "fashion designer, entertainer, publicist, promoter, event planner, and animated character designer" wasn't the most balanced person on the planet, consider your suspicions confirmed. It seems she went off her meds recently, has been roaming the streets armed with a knife, thinks Ray Kelly is conspiring against her, and had to be sent to Bellevue by the police yesterday. [NYDN]

• Gisele Bundchen's baby bump was retouched out of London Fog's fall ad campaign. But if you're absolutely dying to see it, the new issue of People seems to deliver. [WWD, Cut, F'gie]
• WWI influenced fashion. So did WWII. And Vietnam. So why is it that we're not seeing the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq reflected on the catwalk? [AP]
• What went down at the CFDA's "town hall" yesterday: Anna Wintour sort of proposed flouting anti-trust laws to boost the fashion industry, Diane von Furstenberg was sort of horrified by the idea, and then Anna informed the room that she has connections in the White House. [NYO]

• Today in restaurant reviews: Frank Bruni of the Times isn't the least bit impressed with Goving Armstrong's Table 8; Danyelle Freeman is pretty happy with Brooklyn's Prime Meats; Adam Platt thinks Locanda Verde is way better than Ago; and Time Out's Jay Cheshes pays a visit to Locanda Verde, too.
• Ron Perelman is no fan of Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton today: Sutton says dinner at the Perelman-owned Blue Parrot in East Hampton "evokes the universally miserable experience of eating crummy food in an economy class seat." [BN]
• Related: The Post's Steve Cuozzo heads out to the East End and concludes that "the best place to eat in the Hamptons is in a garden or on a porch—at your house or a friend's." But you probably knew that already. [NYP]
• Tragic news for douchey fans of West 27th Street: DBTH reports—and Zagat confirms—that both Home and Guesthouse are now finished. [DBTH]
• Rocco DiSpirito's career isn't totally dead. A new cookbook is coming! [GS]

The High Line opened to the public a couple of months ago. And it's a delight, isn't it? Unfortunately, it appears the park is a little too delightful since four times as many people have been stopping to visit than Friends of the High Line originally anticipated. And now maintenance costs have gone through the roof, so the group is now looking to tax local residents to make up the difference.

Ad mogul and fill-in MSNBC anchor Donny Deutsch thinks it's a totally super idea to ship New York's homeless population to far-flung places! At least that's what he said under his breath today as the cable network went to commercial break. His reaction probably won't come as much of a surprise, of course. But prepare yourself for the news that Deutsch's worked out a marketing deal to make JetBlue the official airline of New York City's unwanted masses. It's bound to happen sooner or later. The clip is below.

• Time Warner sucked wind in the second quarter as profits fell 34%. Newly-independent Time Warner Cable, however, posted a profit. [AP, Reuters]
• McKinsey has set up shop at Condé Nast. What it is the consulting firm's actually doing (or recommending), however, remains a mystery. [NYO]
• Barry Diller's IAC posted a modest profit for the second quarter, but reported that revenues at the media conglomerate were down modestly, too. [AP]
• Michael Milken is backing some sort of new business website. Exciting! [NYT]
• Even more exciting: Sarah Palin is thinking about hosting a radio show. [HP]

Social Life editor Devorah Rose finds herself caught up in a bit of messiness today. Not because her vapid magazine can't find any advertising. And not because she embarrassed herself a couple of weekends ago when she sent out word that Ciara would attend the mag's big party at the "Social Life estate" in Bridgehampton, but then couldn't scrape together the $10,000 needed to pay Ciara's appearance fee. This time, she's been accused of an honest-to-God crime! It seems there's a newcomer on the Hamptons society magazine scene called New York Hamptonite, and Rose and her Social Life friends have been doing their best to stamp out the competition? How, exactly? By stealing all of their copies and replacing them with Social Life.

The high society better-than-yous who summer in The Hamptons are under the impression that there is some legitimate moral stratification of Hamptons summer society magazines. They fuss and fight as if they were doing something marginally useful, or coherent!

Giving up her Upper East Side penthouse and all of its contents may not be all that Ruth Madoff has to sacrifice for living off her husband's vast Ponzi scheme for all those years: Irving Picard, the trustee liquidating Bernie Madoff's investment advisory business, slapped Ruthie with a lawsuit today. Picard claims she was "massively enriched" by her husband's $65 billion Ponzi scheme (duh), and says he's identified an additional $44.8 million "that is subject to recapture." Ruth's lawyer says the suit is "perplexing and totally unjustified," since she's already forfeited most of her assets. You can read the full suit below if you have nothing better to do this rainy afternoon. But if you're a salesperson at Neiman Marcus or Barneys, you probably should take this as a sign that Ruthie's regularly-scheduled shopping expedition this weekend is not happening.