An escaped circus elephant killed a German man early Saturday morning in the woods near Buchen, the Associated Press reports. The man was 65 years old; the elephant is 34 years old: her name is Baby, and she is an African elephant. She was captured and returned to the circus.

A California circus became the site of a chaotic melee on Friday when clowns clashed with animal rights activists in front of hundreds of onlookers, KNBC reports.

We may never know if the person who fired his gun into the BancorpSouth Arena parking lot in Tupelo, Mississippi at 2 a.m. Tuesday morning intended to hit the circus elephant traveling there while on tour with a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey show. We may never know if the shooter, in the heat of the moment, mistook the elephant (Carol) for a much smaller human-sized human with whom he was having a personal conflict. We may never know what the elephant—an honor student, active in her church choir, well-liked and respected by her peers—was doing in the shadowy parking lot so late at night. (Probably just resting.)

Welcome to the first installment of Worker's Comp, chronicling the paper cuts and perforated esophaguses of your fellow working man. Suggest interesting injuries by emailing maureen@gawker.com.

Speculation as to when or whether David Paterson is going to resign as governor is entirely pointless. He doesn't know himself. He will probably decide to, and then change his mind, three times today. But it probably won't happen today!