Yesterday, we asked you what Ted Haggard's big announcement could possibly be. There was great speculation! Well, he's starting a new church with the novel idea of helping people (and pulling in some cash), because "something is better than nothing."

The psychotropic power of the spirit works Reverend Alicia into a trippy, worshipful frenzy. The public access pastor invokes the name of Yahweh over and over, spinning around in her holy office chair, flailing her arms to the heavenly rhythm.

Megachurches aren't generally known for their openness toward sexuality (just ask Ted Haggard!). But a Kansas church now runs a support group that helps perverted women beat their porn addiction: "God created sex. But the enemy has twisted it."

A Texas megachurch has decided to lure potential God-botherers through its doors tomorrow by giving away a donated furniture set, 15 TVs, 16 cars and other very holy items that are not at all incongruous.

Hippies in Santa Fe, New Mexico just want to build their "church" and drink ayahuasca out back, in the shed, and trip balls. Neighbors are not so happy about it. It's a classic religious freedom case. With magical elves.

Oh, Louisville: you are so loved! You have horse races. Fine theater. A birthplace for baseball bats. And now: a church where the pastor is inviting his parishioners and the public to bring their guns inside the sanctuary, today.

Anne Rice, the author of all those books about Vampires (including the one that they turned into that Tom Cruise/ Brad Pitt movie with the twin themes of latent homosexuality and glorification of the dark side), has opened up to the world about her bizarre and stunning deity worship [WP]. The famed creator of monstrosities publicly proclaims her allegiance today to a strange "God Man" who supposedly performed impossible miracles in days long past. Now, the Dracula-loving storyteller has "consecrated" herself to this mythical "Jesus"—who can die and revive himself at will—and nothing will change her mind about his magical powers. The bloodsucking aficionado will not abandon her hallucinatory reasoning for anyone!