New York Senator Chuck Schumer introduced a bill today that would require apparel companies to wait three years before copying the designs of high-end fashion labels. Forever 21 will soon be called Forever 24.

Rep. Anthony Weiner and Sen. Chuck Schumer are two of New York's loudest Democratic politicians. They love to opine on everything! Except, strangely, on the issue of the Ground Zero Mosque. Why such deafening silence from these two flappy-mouths?

New York Senator Chuck Schumer is calling attention to the fact that retinyl palmitate, an ingredient in most sunscreens, was shown to accellerate cancer in lab animals. If sitting under an umbrella kills you, too, then summer is totally ruined.

The Weekly Standard's Bill Kristol is so excited that "patriot" Campbell Brown is heroically leaving CNN—because she can't compete with other TV blowhards—that he wants her to run against NY Senator Chuck Schumer. [Weekly Standard, pic]

What does New York Sen. Chuck Schumer like on his heros? Roast beef, extra pickles, and the blood of Republican opponents. It's nice that there's a NY politician whose name, seen in a headline with "sandwich," doesn't give us shudders.

Larry Kudlow has a bunch of friends-of-Roger Stone running a quasi-campaign for Senate on his behalf, but he's not going to enter officially unless he think he has a shot. It doesn't look like he thinks he has a shot.

This is the depressing state of affairs in New York, in 2010. The various monsters and morons currently running-without-running for statewide office include Andrew Cuomo, Harold Ford, Mort Zuckerman, and, yes, Larry Kudlow.

Remember how Chuck Schumer called a flight attendant a "bitch" last weekend and was forced to issue an apology yesterday? Well, it turns out Schumer has a history of acting aggressively on planes. Has Schumer ever shoved you out of the way while exiting an aircraft? Has he ever demanded that you switch seats with him, just so he didn't have to sit in the middle? If so, contact the Post at once! [NYP]

NY Sen. Chuck Schumer "regrets" and "has apologized" for snapping at a flight attendant who dared tell him to hang up on Harry Reid (while sitting next to Kirsten Gillibrand) because the plane was about to take off. [NYDN]

Sen. Chuck Schumer is really, really sorry he called a US Airways flight attendant a "bitch" yesterday after she ordered him to turn off his cellphone before takeoff: "The senator made an off-the-cuff comment under his breath after the flight attendant walked away. He shouldn't have made it, he regrets it and he has apologized for it." [Fox5]

Elle creative director (and regular on The City) Joe Zee turns 41 today. Senator Chuck Schumer is turning 59. Miley Cyrus is 17. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts is turning 49. Director and screenwriter James Toback is 65, as is Basic Instinct and Showgirls writer Joe Eszterhas. Sen. Mary Landrieu of Louisiana turns 54. Former Lazard chief Michel David-Weill is 77. TV chef Rick Bayless turns 55. Defense attorney Gary Naftalis is turning 68. Filmmaker Robert Towne is 75. Psychiatrist and author Keith Ablow is turning 48. Comedy writer Bruce Vilanch is 61. And child soldier-turned-bestselling author Ishmael Beah is 29 today.

We've been on the edge of our seats wondering who public access porn queen Robin Byrd would be supporting in the 2010 elections. But she seems to have finally come to a decision, so you can now "lie back and get comfortable," so to speak.

This week's issue of New York has come up with a list of the 12 most powerful people in town. (Well, the 11 most powerful behind Michael Bloomberg, that is.) They are (in no particular order): Al Sharpton, Howard Rubenstein, Sheldon Silver, Stephen Ross, Jamie Dimon, Herb Pardes, Anna Wintour, Andrew Cuomo, Mike Fishman, Chuck Schumer, and Rupert Murdoch. [NYM]

How much does it cost to take the sting out of commuting around New York? $144,014. That's how much Senator Chuck Schumer spent between October 2008 and March 2009 on travel, more than any Senator but one. (Republican John Cornyn of Texas spent more, after dragging 59 of his staffers to a retreat in St. Michaels, Maryland). According to Politico.com, Schumer took 25 chartered flights to various locations around New York State, most within 30 minutes of an international airport, at $1,000 to $7,000 a trip, running up a travel tab that's ten times more than some of his colleagues.

Working on Michael Bloomberg's reelection campaign might just be the best job in town. He's got lots of money to spend, of course. (He's already shelled out more than $18 million since Jan. 12 despite little in the way of competition.) And then there are those rides aboard his jet, where expensive wine and sushi is always on the menu. He's paying his campaign staff pretty well, too, as Jason Horowitz discovered. And he's generous about looking beyond what others might consider unfortunate career blemishes. Take Bradley Tusk, the mayor's 35-year-old campaign manager, for example. Tusk once worked for Chuck Schumer's communications office and for Mayor Bloomberg at City Hall. But then he took a job as deputy governor of Illinois under now-disgraced Rod Blagojevich, and then left to join Lehman Brothers as a senior vice president. (We all know how that one turned out.) But Tusk has bounced back nicely. He's now making $27,500 a month to run Bloomberg's campaign. And he's not the only one doing well. A roundup of some of Bloomberg key campaign staffers—and their salaries—below.

This Kirsten Gillibrand lady, who became a Senator from New York because Paterson wanted upstate support? She is a wiley one.

Lycée Français de New York honored Dior president Sidney Toledano at its 10th annual gala at 7 World Trade Center on Friday night. The event, which was co-chaired in part by by Olivier Sarkozy and his wife Charlotte, attracted Eric and Sandra Ripert (left), Robbie Myers, Bernard Aidan, Bettina Zilkha, Catherine Malandrino Glenda Bailey, Cathy Horyn, Kassy and Liya Kebede, Delphine and Reed Krakoff, Susan Fales-Hill, Yannick Noah, Virginia Smith, Alejandra and Jeffrey Kluger, Stacey Bronfman, Assouline and Martine Prosper, Fabrizio and Maryane Freda, and Veronica Bulgari. [PMc, FWD, WWD, NYSD]

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick may seem really happy and content with life, but it's just a carefully-constructed façade that is now crumbling to pieces because Broderick can't stop himself from cheating. Or at least that's what the Star is claiming after it caught sight of SJP socializing with a real estate broker, something you wouldn't even think of doing unless you were planning to leave your husband and move out on your own, right? [Star]
• Peter Cook has filed charges against Christie Brinkley for refusing to hand over son Jack's passport so the two can go on a school trip to Egypt. [P6, OK!]
• Disgraced Lehman CEO Dick Fuld and his wife Kathy needed help using JetBlue's check-in kiosk in Palm Beach, poor things. [P6]
• Paris Hilton says she's not a slut because she's only had sex with "a couple of men," which, by that standard, means you're still a virgin. [The Sun]

Tina Brown's party earlier this week to celebrate the launch of her new site, The Daily Beast, could have just as easily served as an early birthday bash: The famed editor turns 55 today. Indie film powerhouse Christine Vachon is turning 46. Bjork is 43. Goldie Hawn is 63. Publicist Mara Buxbaum is 41. Retired football player Michael Strahan is celebrating his 37th. Actress Cherry Jones is 52. Real estate developer Daniel Brodsky is 44. Norman Siegel, civil rights lawyer and perennial candidate for public office, is 65. Congresswoman Yvette Clark is 44. Nicollette Sheridan is 45. And actress Marlo Thomas is 71. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

♦ With so many companies looking to tap into the $700 billion bailout, it's clear there won't be enough to go around, and a lot more work (and cash) is going to be needed to fix the problem. [WSJ]
♦ The latest company to convert itself into a bank to tap into government funds: American Express, which earned approval from the Fed to become a commercial bank yesterday as it seeks to cover rising credit card defaults. [Bloomberg]
♦ GM's possible bankruptcy was a major topic of conversation at the White House yesterday when Barack Obama met with George Bush. Meanwhile, shares of GM fell to $3.36 yesterday, its lowest level since 1949. [WSJ, Bloomberg]