In most universes, Charlie Sheen is the guy at the bar who you avoid making eye contact with. In this universe, where we live, Charlie Sheen's going to walk away from his extended manic episode with $25 million. String theory!

Charlie Sheen is so winning that he didn't just file a lawsuit for $100 million against Warner Bros., which makes Two and a Half Men, but he did it for himself and the entire cast and crew. Oh, that Charlie. He's so generous!

Frankie Muniz's girlfriend said he threatened to kill himself, then punched her in the head. Ryan Phillippe hits on Rihanna, who shoots him down. Pharrell makes goose-stepping cool. Wednesday gossip is all grown up and sort of terrifying.