A Business Improvement District in the Bronx has cancelled its annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony because they used their budget to hire a security guard to shoo away homeless people, instead. Merry Christmas.

Click to viewHundreds of kids in New York City think that Santa Claus lives on West 22nd Street. He does not (he lives in the North Pole, duh)—these two guys do. But after receiving 450 letters, they're helping out anyway.

The Way We Live Now: falalalalala-ing. It's a little holiday carol of cheery tidings we enjoy, entitled "Privatize Christmas." Santa on a private sleigh! Temp elves! Globalized toy labor! Let the poor decompose and fertilize the ground. Privatize all, falalalala!

We met Aaron Jamison last April, when he was selling ads on his cremation urn to help his wife pay medical bills connected to his terminal cancer. Many of you chipped in to help him. He has a small request.

It's a Christmas miracle: a tipster has forwarded us a historic May, 2007 internal staff email from our favorite public relations powerhouse, 5WPR. It seems someone (ladies) could not keep the poop flushed and the tampons put away properly.

Rupert Murdoch sent out his Holiday Greetings to his minions today. Fox News and Fox Business Network are mentioned by name, but the Wall Street Journal is not. Take that to heart, WSJ! The full dose of corporate cheer, below.

After Ontario Hockey League's London Knights scored their first goal last night, their fans threw teddy bears onto the ice to go to needy children during the holidays. Can Canada go ONE DAY without making America look like heartless jerks?!

Tomorrow night, a TV ratings battle for the ages. Two dogs, on two different networks, will attempt to save Christmas. In doing so, they will demonstrate the completely brainsucking, disturbingly palpable lack of originality in television programming. New lows, ahead.

Newsday, the little Long Island paper that couldn't, just laid off 100 staffers. And they told the union: On the way out, take your damn holiday "food drive bins" with you. Bah humbug: