Christina Aguilera is the poor man's Lady Gaga. Jennifer Aniston was spotted with a mystery guy. The Situation gets a sweet deal. Now that their sport is cool, soccer stars are finally getting some. Sunday's Gossip roundup is no troll.

Jessica Simpson has a new boyfriend. Geri Haliwell has a bad boyfriend. Christiano Ronaldo has a mysterious baby-mama. Kate Hudson's boyfriend has a date with Goldie Hawn. George Clooney has a court date. Tuesday's gossip is all about meeting people.

Someone is shopping a tape of Leighton Meester boning an ex-boyfriend, Robert Pattinson gets hit by a cab, Jennifer Garner tries to breakup Ben Affleck and Kevin Smith, Susan Boyle goes bonkers again and Beyonce screws over a club owner.

Kate Gosselin angrily eats a popsicle, inflating a Bounce House of Death. Susan Boyle's back, bitch! So is Britain-Bound Britney. And someone makes a dumb pun involving Paris Hilton and a hard-on. Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup: