File under "Probably Not In This Week's Altarcations": the founder of "Hookers For Jesus" and some guy in a Christian rock band got married in Vegas. The name of the band? "Stryper." +4 [CNN]

Just in time for Easter, Gallup has released poll data going back to 1948 showing an inexorable decline in the number of Americans who practice Christianity.

Actually, no he won’t. But the former Growing Pains star and born-again nutjob does have a movie coming out called Fireproof, and according to the LA Times it “has been No. 1 in advance sales on movie ticketing site Fandango.com with 31% of this week's business, albeit in a slow marketplace— even outpacing sales for the big-budget popcorn thriller Eagle Eye, starring heartthrob Shia LaBeouf.” How in the name of Boner Stabone is this possible?You guessed it: Fireproof is another of Cameron's religious-themed movies, and thanks to bulk purchases by church groups, it seems likely to rake in the big bucks this weekend and beyond. So what will these crowds be treated to? How about Kirk Cameron as a heroic fireman who’s having problems with his wife? But instead of taking the heathen’s way out and getting a divorce, he looks to God to teach him how to be a better husband. Sounds thrilling to be sure, but don’t go expecting another Passion of the Christ here; Jesus on the cross can outdraw Kirk on the ladder any day. But still, you godless A-listers better watch your back: Cameron is coming for you, and he’s got the Lord on his side. Amen. [Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Bristol Palin smoked weed on camera, the Enquirer reports today in the latest installment of the tabloid's investigation into the Republican running mate's family values. And Bristol's boyfriend Levi could desensitize Cindy McCain under the table! (Also, cocaine.) See the full sordid story after the jump, along with our attempt to explain Whether Christians Will Care.A lot of churches ban the use of drugs and alcohol and even coffee, which is ridiculous, but pot is a particularly thorny issue. In the late seventies the religious right was widely credited for galvanizing public sentiment against the strides the Nixon and Carter administrations made toward the decriminalization of drugs and raising the political capital to fund the endless gazillion dollar War On Drugs. Those religious rightists did all this because they were creeped out by their kids under the influence of pot. Still, the Christians have never imposed any sort of Islamish ban on mood-altering substances, namely I would venture because "Thou Shalt Not Kill Brain Cells" is nowhere to be found in the Ten Commandments, perhaps because Moses was high on hallucinogens when God revealed them to him, and a couple thousand years later when God sent down that community organizer son of his to save us from our original sins, Jesus seemed to develop a keen understanding of the value of the "addictive personality" to the propagation of his cause. There is nothing like an addiction to drugs to keep a guy sinning, and there is nothing like compulsive sin to remind you how much you need Christ's forgiveness. So Father forgive Levi and Bristol for they have committed the sin of premarital sex on at least one known occasion and here are maybe some clues as to the demons that led them so terribly astray:

Those Britishers. First they cast off the Pope. Then they make the royal family just a bunch of symbolic bobble-heads with questionable DNA. Now they're out to get rid of religion altogether! Is nothing sacred to these people? "More than half of Britons think Christianity is likely to have disappeared from the country within a century, according to a survey. Research by the Orthodox Jewish organisation Aish found that just over a third of people thought religions like Christianity and Judaism would still be practiced in Britain in 100 years' time. Although four in 10 people said they would choose to be a member of the Christian religion, almost the same number said they would rather practice no religion at all."

You love working out. You love Jesus. But gyms are such meat markets: sweaty, sculpted, sexy bodies everywhere, driving your brain crazy thinking about... not the church bake sale, if you know what we mean. (Sex). So what to do? Where can you go? Is this all a setup leading into a trend story about the astounding success of a Christian-themed gym located, predictably, in Florida? God yes! And furthermore, we think it's great: