Harold Camping, the radio host who predicted the world would end on Saturday, made his first post-non-apocalypse public appearance on his radio show Monday night. "The first question," he told listeners, "is 'Camping, what about you? Are you ready to shoot yourself or go on a booze trip or whatever?'"

Saturday, May 21 was supposed to be the start of end of the world, according to the calculations of radio host Harold Camping. It wasn't. So what happens on May 22?

Happy Rapture, everyone! Are you still here? We're making a list of everything that has been taken to Heaven to kick it with Jesus, and we need your help.

Most reasonable people can agree that the only thing missing from the modern church experience is Death Cab for Cutie lyrics. The arrival, then, of the Trinity Grace Church to New York City's East Village ("a neighborhood perceived by many as libertine," The New York Times hazards) proves welcome: Trinity Grace's pastor and founder, 33-year-old Guy Wasko, quotes from Death Cab as freely as he does from scripture. And that's not all! The Rev. Wasko, we are told by the Times, sports "spiky brown hair" and "eight-gauge steel posts in both ears"; he has a tattoo, and, judging by the accompanying photographs, a soul patch. In other words: This guy is legit. And thanks to him, the East Village is getting a dose of rock 'n roll preaching:

What's going on France these days, besides making sure that women only wear French-approved clothing? Let's check in on Avignon (onetime home of the pope!), where the infamous "Immersion (Piss Christ)"—depicting an allegedly urine-dipped crucifix—is currently on display:

Donald Trump is not nearly as generous with money as he is with opinions: Between 1990 and 2009 the aspiring presidential candidate gave only $3.7 million of his (purported) billions to his own charity.

Who wants to read ancient books made of metal? Scientists, that's who! And some of them are very excited to get their hands on these particular ancient metal books, which might "be more significant than the Dead Sea Scrolls."

At Crystal Cathedral—the monstrous southern California megachurch that went bankrupt last year despite being home to the blessed "Hour of Power" broadcast—the problems just keep on coming, as if god was not even listening to their prayers.

The New York Times trips and stumbles all over itself today in an entire article about songs with the work "Fuck" which does not contain the word "Fuck." Your prayer is answered, NYT: "Bless You," the Christian remix of Cee-Lo's blasphemous hit. Completely soothing to the easily-offended sensibilities of New York Times editors! (Except for that keyboard player.)

Single on Valentine's Day? Instead of complaining loudly and publicly or going to some kind of stupid themed singles event, you should take a trip to Malaysia or Russia, where religious authorities are attempting to crack down on the decadent Western celebration of couples being gross with each other.

This week, news that Bill O'Reilly had issued a challenge to atheists to explain how the moon got here—after being told that it, not God, controls the tides—was laughed at by many. Tonight, Stephen Colbert joined the chorus.

Barack Obama went to church on Sunday. This must mean something. What does this mean? The Politico newspaper explains what this means.

Top social conservative Bryan Fischer is outraged that "President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians. He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords."

There was quite a show at the Vatican today, as a troupe of male acrobats ripped off their shirts and performed for the Pope. The nuns, meanwhile, "cheered enthusiastically and even snapped photos of the bare-chested men." Hilarious footage below.

Kentucky's Democratic Gov. Steve Beshear breathlessly announced today that he has secured a deal with Ark Encounter LLC to build an awesome creationism-themed amusement park in his state. What, along with a "full-scale Noah's Ark," will it contain?

The Department of Justice had to formally tell a bunch of xenophobic arsonists in Tennessee that yes, Islam is a recognized religion here in America. They're upset about a new mosque and are being encouraged by this prick. [Tennesseean]

The Obamas attended Christian religious services at a Washington church yesterday, wreaking Sharia terror on the modest God-fearing congregants. Perhaps President Obama wants fewer Americans to think he's Muslim. Will you take the bait? [Image via AP]

Saturday marks the ninth anniversary of 9/11. And, for pastor Terry Jones down in Gainesville, Florida, it's also "International Burn a Koran Day." Tonight, Jon Stewart tore apart Jones' message, Republican lawmakers' hypocrisy, and—most importantly—Jones' mustache. Video inside.

Pastor Terry Jones' "International Burn a Koran Day" approaches! And surely his fear of Islam is based on a deep understanding of the Koran, right? Nope: "I have no experience with it whatsoever. I only know what the Bible says."

Tonight, Laura Ingraham had another DERP/foot-in-mouth moment when she basically said that a) Muslims should assimilate to the American way, b) "elites"—and Muslim radicals—resist this, and c) if they continue resisting, they should expect "stricter rules." Video inside.