Kim Kardashian is getting divorced after only 72 days. That's only two and a half months. Apparently celebrities are especially susceptible to being married for very short periods of time. Here are some that were so short they make Kim's look long, and some that lasted a bit longer and make Kim's look short, sort of like when she'd stand next to her future ex, Kris Humphries.
Jon Favreau turns 43 today. John Lithgow is turning 64. Retired boxer Evander Holyfield is 47. Former Saturday Night Live star Chris Kattan is turning 39. RNC chairman Michael Steele is 51. Model/actress Joy Bryant is turning 33. Trey Parker, the co-creator of South Park, is 40. Bestselling author John le Carré turns 78. Former first daughter Amy Carter is turning 42. TV psychic John Edward is 40. And the most famous carpenter in America, Extreme Home Makeover host Ty Pennington, turns 44 today.
Jeremy Piven goes nuts on Chris Kattan, Robert Pattinson parties in Queens, Michael Jackson is finally buried, Bethenny Frankel hates Gwyneth Paltrow, Jesus Luz wants to be a DJ, Mariah Carey is freaking out and Victoria Beckham debuts on Idol.
• The case of the mercury-tainted sushi lives on: Chris Kattan ran into Jeremy Piven backstage during a taping of Alexa Chung's MTV show last week and made a crack about Piven's short stint on Broadway; a very offended Piven responded by calling Kattan's entire career into question. [NYDN]
• Madonna's Brazilian-born boy toy, Jesus Luz, is more than just a model: He's now a DJ, too. [P6]
• Bethenny Frankel is no fan of Gwyneth Paltrow: "I'd rather staple my eyelids shut than watch Gwyneth cook." We're going to assume the feeling is mutual. [NYDN]
• In what amounted to a two-way publicity stunt, Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston (better known as Bristol Palin's baby daddy) turned up to the Teen Choice Awards last night holding hands. [Us]
Orlando Bloom walking his dog in Chelsea ... Heidi Klum playing with her kids at Vesuvio Playground in SoHo ... Jennifer Aniston walking in the Village ... Jennifer Lopez checking her phone on the set of her new movie in Tribeca ... Ashley Greene heading into MTV's studios ... Judith Light walking in Midtown ... Tony Hawk eating lunch with his wife at Pastis ... Chris Kattan filming a commercial in SoHo ... Robert Pattinson walking downtown ... Wentworth Miller and Mariska Hargitay shooting scenes for Law & Order: SVU downtown ... Ziggy Marley hanging out in the West Village ... and Rihanna leaving Da Silvano.
Drew Barrymore crossing the street in Midtown ... Kelly Ripa checking her cell phone in SoHo ... Anne Hathaway eating lunch in the Village ... Heidi Klum leaving her hotel with an apple in hand ... Chris Kattan walking in the meatpacking district ... Amber Rose talking to friends outside her apartment downtown ... Emilie de Ravin and Robert Pattinson filming scenes for Remember Me in Brooklyn Heights ... Keyshawn Johnson walking with a friend downtown ... Kelly Osbourne leaving MTV studios ... Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick shooting a scene for Gossip Girl on the Upper East Side ... Nic Cage leaving his hotel in Midtown ... and Jennifer Aniston shopping at Only Hearts on Mott Street.
Tionna Smalls is back! Such good news. Also: Law & Order: SVU will keep solving sex crimes, Amy Adams will embarrass herself, and strange casting good make for good television.
Wyclef Jean has been busy stumping for Obama as of late, but perhaps he'll find time to take a short break today to celebrate his 36th birthday. Others who may (or may not) indulge in cake today: Socialite Debbie Bancroft is 54. Artist Ryan McGinley is 31. Chicago director Rob Marshall is 48. Legendary newsman Jimmy Breslin is 79. New Yorker staff writer and author Ariel Levy is 34. Film critic Richard Roeper turns 49. Eminem celebrates his 36th. Ziggy Marley, the son of Bob Marley, is 40. And Kirna Zabête co-owner Beth Buccini is 37. Weekend birthdays after the jump.
♦ Now that Madonna and Guy Ritchie have officially split, the focus is now on her relationship with Alex Rodriguez: Some say he knew that the separation announcement was coming, which is why he's been "lying low" in a five-star Beverly Hills hotel for the past few days. [Us, NYP, E!]
♦ How's Guy doing? Don't worry about him: He could walk away with as much as $250 mil. in a settlement since he and Madonna never had a prenup. [NYP]
♦ A sex tape starring Peter Cook and Diana Bianchi may be out there, although Cook's lawyers are still saying he has "no knowledge" it exists. [P6]
♦ David Duchovny and Tea Leoni have officially split up. We're as shocked as you are [E!]
♦ Raffaello Follieri didn't just swindle adults. He also tricked a 15-year-old girl by promising to get her Anne Hathaway's autograph and then never coming though. Now she's suing him. [NYDN]
As many loyal Defamer readers must know by now, our favorite blind items tend to include three elements: closeted actors, drug-addicted actresses, and those rare but joyous items that include the quote “Do you want to fuck my wife?” And kudos to the NY Daily News for providing us with the gruesomely enjoyable trifecta all in one sordid little piece today:
Chris Kattan, who played that apple-eating monkey-type thing on Saturday Night Live is marrying model Sunshine Tutt in Yosemite Valley, CA, today. "'Originally I was going to do something very special,' Kattan told People about the engagement. 'I tried to get Bono of U2 to serenade her. That didn't happen. Then I asked Justin Timberlake. No answer. After hundreds of phone calls and text messages, I finally ended up asking one of the members of the Hanson group. He didn't want to get involved.'"
