Starbucks jobs are now reserved for Yale grads; the rest of us have to try and obtain menial but absurd positions with Kanye West.

The Observer examines the polarizing effects of the Iraq debate on social life in Manhattan. Personally, I'm inclined to agree with Gawker interviewee Neal Pollack's line of thinking on the issue, which is basically, "Nobody gives a shit what anti-war or pro-war writers think. Really. So shut up. That goes double for poets. Shut the hell up, poets. Everybody just shut up." But that never works. In my experience, someone always brings it up, and usually in such a way that you want to scream at them regardless of their position. Apparently, this isn't unique. "I've had shouting arguments on both sides," said [Kurt] Andersen. "Frankly and sincerely on both sides, because of the way the other person has drawn the line." Chris Buckley adds, "My idea of a good time is not a screaming argument over the cr me br l e over the Iraqi civilian casualties."
The unquiet Americans [Observer]

We're beginning to think New York gossip columnists are feeling a bit too much Holiday-related goodwill. For example:
· Page Six defends Steve Bing, explaining that he has "been unfairly depicted." [Page Six]
· Page Six says nice things about PETA. [Page Six]
· The late John Galliher, international courtier and "walker" for Nan Kempner, Pat Buckley and Carol Petrie, is nicely eulogized. [Page Six]
· Liz Smith implores New Yorkers to support the mayor's Public Private Initiative. [Liz Smith]
No, no, no! You're gossip columnists! You're not supposed to be nice! That's not how it works! We should know; we've been doing this for three whole weeks! When you sign on the dotted line, you agree to be mean and nasty, and Satan agrees to give you a nice cushy job with a major circulation newspaper.

The Best Case Scenario Handbook by John Tierney, Chris Buckley, and Marcel Durocher, offers practical advice on "how to accept an Oscar, sleep in First Class, shop for a private plane, take the presidential oath," etc. Very useful for many New Yorkers, but we'd suggest that Manhattan-based scenarios tend to come in pairs. How about "What to do when you run a multi-billion-dollar company and you get elected Mayor of New York." Or "What to do when your child gets into your first-choice preschool and your AT&T position goes through the roof."
The Best-Case Scenario Handbook [Amazon]