The Chicago Tribune is a terrible newspaper that was driven into bankruptcy by timid bureaucrats posing as editors. So who is the New York Times hiring to launch its new Chicago edition? The same people that ruined the Trib.

This kind of stuff cannot possibly look attractive to your theoretical disinterested observer, or "independent voter," to be literally cheering the fact that an American city—a Midwestern American city!—has lost something to a foreign city. This is like rooting for Obama's puppy to get run over. This is like if Obama said "My fellow Americans, it would be cool to see Drew Brees break the single-season passing yardage record this year" and then Michele Malkin went on the TV to pray for Bart Scott to break his leg this Sunday. (That's right, Malkin, I just compared you to a Jets fan.)

Olympics denied, Hopey! The International Olympic Committee rejected Chicago's bid to host the 2016 Summer Olympics in the first round of voting, despite the fact that Barack Obama asked them real nice to pick that pleasant city.

Derrion Albert, Chicago-based 16-year old who attended Bible Class every week, was beaten to death on September 24. A bystander's video captured the truly horrific ordeal. Four alleged attackers are now being charged as adults. And we have some questions.

The Mad AssHatter Himself, Tucker Max, went to war with Chicago's Transit System over a series of advertisements for his film, I Hope They Serve Rosé On Fire Island, or whatever it's called. Guess who won?

Rod Blagojevich and his alleged misdeeds have been the subject of much spilled media ink, and much of that ink was spilled by his own hand. But could that story now have spilled blood?

You know those posters of Obama looking like the Joker from Batman with the word "socialism" underneath? The creator of that creepy image has emerged, and it's not some "real" American from a red state. Far from it.

Why not make your realtor a shirtless globe-holding Gay Chicago Realtor? [via Real-ad-tors. Previously: More of America's best realtor ads.]

The Way We Live Now: Standing. There are so many unpaid interns, we can't even find seats for them all. It's good practice. The 2016 Chicago Olympics' hot new sports are "Standing on the unemployment line" and "Standing there, drunk."

Why charge for reporting when you can just beg readers for the cash to do it? One news outlet's already taking the progressive step of doing so.

Remember that dizzying, quarter-mile-high glass observation deck that opened on the 103rd story of Chicago's Sears Tower recently? Well, the New York Times now has an interesting article about the science of making the damn thing work without killing anyone.

The results of our poll to find America's best city for journalism, story-wise, are in. Chicago surged into second place thanks to a characteristic ballot-stuffing campaign, but in the end, good sense prevailed. Full results below!

Gambling, gangsters, celebrities, creeps—Las Vegas is "journalism heaven," says this guy. OH? We know a few cities that would dispute that. Newspapers may be dying, but news is alive and well. Where are America's Best Stories? Candidates below!

Chicago's Second City comedy troupe has a show called "Rod Blagojevich Superstar." And because he is insane, the real Rod Blagojevich went to a performance of the show about how he was impeached as governor after being indicted for corruption.

A gruesome string of violence in Chicago in being investigated right now to see if any of it is connected in any way whatsoever. It'd almost be more comforting if it were. Otherwise, these numbers are incredibly frightening - not just for Chicago, but for any city.

Today, Barack Obama is hosting Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu at the White House for what will be a very tense and important diplomatic meeting. Some clowns in Chicago decided to help out!

Mr. T goes on jury duty, does not fail to work in his catchphrase.

Surprise: the Office of Congressional Ethics is investigating Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. for that whole "Rod Blagojevich's Senate Candidate 5" thing.

Oh, Rod Blagojevich. God bless you for brightening up this bleak Friday. News from you is like the sun coming out from behind the clouds! What's up now? Oh, you tried to extort Rahm Emaneul?

A grand jury has indicted Rod Blagojevich, the disgraced, impeached, and irrelevant former Illinois governor, on 16 felony charges. So what is the poet-politician doing? Going to Disney World, of course!