Your dad in the 90s. Your dad in his den with a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels. Your dad when he met your mom at Club Ipanema in 1971. Like a choose-your-own-adventure edition of staying #ontrend, fashion is now easier than ever. Just take a page from pa's lookbook—casual, unfussy, and now replete with swaths of porny chest hair.

Men do not have breasts. But our chests are beautiful creatures in their own right, which is probably why the man-cleavage, or heavage, is taking America by storm. We are apparently in a new "golden age of male chest hair."