Chelsea Handler says the dozens of sexual assault accusations against Bill Cosby don't surprise her, because she herself was nearly "Cosbied" a decade ago. She told Esquire the close call happened one afternoon at an Atlantic City hotel, when Cosby tried to arrange a meeting in his room.

Instagram, the official social media platform of nipplephobes, doesn't know what it's missing. Chelsea Handler isn't even trying to post her topless photos there anymore—she's already tried thrice, and thrice did they refuse. Now she's taking them straight to Twitter, where she's appreciated, goddammit.

Miley Cyrus was not the only celebrity trying to stick it to Instagram with her nipples this weekend. Chelsea Handler, who has long opposed the Facebook-owned photo app's double standard for male versus female toplessness, went topless again Friday as part of her ongoing #FreeTheNipple protest.

Kim Kardashian's Paper cover, centered on her bare, oiled-up ass, threatened to break the internet. Well, Chelsea Handler's butt can make threats, too. It's on Instagram right now, threatening to be seen by you.

Chelsea Handler's bare breasts were on Instagram for roughly half an hour Thursday night after she shared a topless photo of herself riding a horse.

Come August 27, there will be no female late-night talk show hosts on U.S. TV. In a press release, E! announced Chelsea Handler's vehicle Chelsea Lately will end with an "hour-long live event" on Tuesday, August 26.

Hands down, this is the best thing that Chelsea Handler has ever done.

How were you occupying yourself in this trying time? Could you eat? Sleep? Did white wine even taste sweet anymore? Whether you were Team Hoda and Kathie Lee or Team Chelsea, you can finally unclench your butt cheeks and relax.

Tonight NBC premiered a new sitcom, Are You There, Chelsea wherein Laura Prepon (of That 70's Show) plays Chelsea Handler and Chelsea Handler plays her own older sister. The show is based on one of Handler's memoirs, Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea and even though NBC decided to strike the vodka mention in the title, they left in plenty of alcohol-related sentiment. While it is certainly not as gratuitously offensive and terrible as Work It, it has about the same number of jokes. Here is the show boiled down to its essence.

Blake and Ryan do nothing but stay home and walk their dogs. Kelly Rowland says Beyonce is having a girl. Jamie Lynn Spears makes her country singer-songwriter debut. And can you guess who Lindsay Lohan's Playboy pictorial is "inspired" by? Tuesday gossip wears a Slanket and eats soup.

Shia LaBeouf has a public spitting problem, Chelsea Handler was booted from a bathroom stall, Sofia Coppola got married, Simon Cowell and Muammar Qaddafi have a lot in common, and the cast of Jersey Shore barely escaped Hurricane Irene. Sunday gossip has made landfall.

The blonde moptop was going places on TV's Glee until he abruptly wasn't. Also today: Bridesmaids is super successful, the new Chelsea Handler sitcom is not, and some info on actresses' paychecks.

While discussing Amy Winehouse's recent disaster concert in Belgrade on her E! public access talk show, comedian Chelsea Handler, and her panelists, said some offensive things about Serbia and its people, and those people are now angry.

I know you never thought it possible, but little Troy Bolton is about to get sexual and thrilling, all at once. Also today: tons of TV news about renewals and cancellations, plus a sexy little companion piece to the Efron news.

Scarlett Johansson isn't pregnant, but maybe she wants to be? Matthew Perry returns to rehab. Lindsay Lohan hires a new publicist. (As if that will help.) Friday gossip is optimistic.

Lady Gaga breaks a nail and flips off a bunch of rich people. The royal wedding made Fergie feel "totally worthless." Heidi Montag warns that reality stardom is "hard." Wednesday gossip triumphs over adversity.

Just when you think professional ridiculous person Gwyneth Paltrow can't provide more fodder for her haters, she calls her grandmother "a real cunt." Following Chelsea Handler's admission that her grandmother was "a real bitch," Our Lady of Organic Dewdrops lays into old Grandma Muti:

A gleeful Chris Brown galavants around town after breaking Good Morning America's window. 50 Cent gives Chelsea Handler a backhanded compliment. Hugh Hefner's fiancee may already be cheating. Wednesday gossip shakes its haters off.

Courtney Love's history with Twitter is, like her history with everything, a rocky one. She vanished from the site in January after being sued for defamation by fashion designer Dawn Simorangkir over a tweet. You'd figure the fact that she paid out $430,000 to settle that lawsuit would have kept her off for good.

When Rihanna stopped by Chelsea Lately yesterday, Chelsea immediately calls her out on being late to her own birthday party while Rihanna tells a few rumors she heard about Chelsea's behavior that night. Man, that sounds like an incredible party.