Back in April, a hallowed 64-year-old cheesesteak institution in Philadelphia changed its name from "Chink's Steaks" to "Joe's Steaks," because the former is a racist term for individuals of Asian decent and the latter is not. Folks in the neighborhood lost their minds; how could "Chink's Steaks" be racist when it wasn't even racist? The original owner had "almond-shaped eyes" (like a person of Asian descent) so everyone called him "Chink" — what's racist about that?

Philadelphia, capital city of the United States*, is great at many things. It's great at being within relatively short driving distance of the Jersey shore. It's great at allowing you to bring your own wine to restaurants. The world's largest clothespin is there.