New York Congressman Charlie Rangel is currently scrambling to avoid a House ethics trial for a laundry list of shady actions. Last night, Jon Stewart went through them in the funniest way possible. Video inside (with a Bloagojevich/Kerry bonus!).

Mean, stubborn crook Rep. Charlie Rangel has finally realized that he's two days from the start of a House ethics trial, so maybe it's time to deal? Unfortunately, this would involve him admitting any wrongdoing, which is unacceptable to him.

"Well, it wouldn't be the American thing to do," crooked old Charlie Rangel said yesterday when asked about resigning.

While nothing short of a mobilized Allied army seems capable of forcing Rep. Charlie Rangel out of Congress, the House ethics committee will charge him with official ethics violations, essentially setting up a trial — the first in eight years.

Crooked old Charlie Rangel is running for reelection. And he compared Barack Obama to Dick Cheney.

So this happened this morning, on local cable news station NY1. To be fair, both Snipes and Congressman Charlie Rangel have very good excuses for not paying their taxes. [Via]

Nancy Pelosi has selected Rep. Sandy Levin (D-Mich) to "temporarily" replace Charlie Rangel as Chairman of the Ways and Means committee, while Rangel's under investigation for being incredibly corrupt. Sorry, crazy Pete Stark.

The delightful but sadly incredibly corrupt Harlem Congressman Charlie Rangel announced a 9 a.m. press conference. A couple minutes before 9, he went before cameras to announce that he'll "temporarily" stop being the chair of the Ways and Means Committee.

Every four years, the Democrats have Jesse Jackson come speak at their convention to remind black people that even though the party has nominated yet another old white guy, they are still the party of civil rights and not being racist all the time. This year, though, the Dems have gone and nominated an African-American! So, Jesse, your services will not be needed. "Ronald Walters, a former Jackson aide who is the director of the African American Leadership Center at the University of Maryland, said he does not think Jackson will be asked to speak at the convention," The Hill Reports. Sad. Al Sharpton isn't coming either! All because Jackson said he wanted to cut Barack's nuts off on television that one time. You whisper one castration threat, suddenly you're not welcome at prom. Hey, guess who else isn't invited-black Congressman Charlie Rangel! Rangel-as a New York politician-vocally supported Hillary Clinton throughout the primaries. But it's not like he's done anything to stab Obama in the back since then! Still, he will not be speaking in Denver. The Hill says there might be some black politicians allowed to speak, though. Like Washington D.C. mayor Adrian Fenty! Who is much younger and less, uh, riled up than Jackson, Sharpton, or Rangel. He's also way more boring. But this is the face the Democrats would like to present to the nation: the party of calm, cool, young black guys. (Colin Powell, by the way, is not showing. Bill Kristol is a buffoon.)

The New York Times has a juicy story today about Charlie Rangel and the four rent-stabilized apartments he occupies in Harlem. (Or maybe not so juicy after all: three of the apartments were combined into one apartment; the other is his home office.) The bigger question: Is someone out to get Rangel and is this possibly payback for turning on Hillary Clinton? [Radar Online]

Peter Dinklage is short and old. He turns 39 today. Also celebrating: Scientology-lovin' Fox News legal eagle Greta Van Susteren is 54. Style.com's Candy Pratts Price looks damn good for someone turning 59. Harlem's own Charlie Rangel is turning 78. On the local political front, fire department commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta is 76 and public advocate is Betsy Gotbaum's turning 70. Mets shortstop José Reyes is celebrating his 25. Indiana Jones cutie Shia LeBeouf turns 22. Times CEO Janet Robinson is 58. Surgeon (and friend of Oprah) Mehmet Oz turns 48.

Hasn't Wesley Autrey given enough already?

The ad at right (click to enlarge) is part of series aimed at improving the reputation of the great state of Mississippi. "Mississippi, Believe It!" campaign came about, as the press release informs,

We'll admit it, we've always looked favorably on Charlie Rangel, the Harlem congressman who's got one of the best "New York politics" voices going. He's blunt, he's down-to-earth, and he's not afraid to tell it like it is. Take, for instance, his views on Vice President Cheney: