Charlie the Duckling may no longer be with us, and his owner may be kind of a jerk, but let's not dwell on life's dark spots and just remember that, for a short time at least, Charlie was happy, healthy, and, boy, could that bird run.

Robin Williams came out of the wild and appeared on the Late Show last night. When asked about Charlie Sheen, he said "As an alcoholic, me giving advice to Charlie Sheen—it's like a leper giving a facial."

Following Louisiana's lead, last week Florida slapped an emergency ban on synthetic drugs that are marketed as "bath salts" because people are losing their minds after snorting and smoking "Vanilla Sky," "White Lightning," and "Ivory Snow." The state's attorney general was pushed to ban the "drug" after some people flipped out, according to NPR:

Hugh Jackman eats the equivalent of this child's body mass every day. (Roughly.) Miley Cyrus gets a regrettable tattoo. Nicole Kidman says Tom Cruise "really damaged" her. Dianna Agron is engaged. TGIFriday gossip.

Taylor and Jake flirt their way across New York. A Sports Illustrated model gets in a catfight. Celine Dion's husband describes his wife's numerologically perfect birth. Tuesday gossip is a windswept romance.

Charlie, a South African chimpanzee famous for smoking cigarettes while being an ape, has died at age 52, having lived ten years longer than the average chimp despite his tobacco habit. That doesn't mean smoking is good for you, however.

NASA is holding a contest to name the "wakeup songs" played during the last-ever Space Shuttle missions. You can submit an original composition, or pick from a list of songs. The problem: They all suck. The solution: These 10 tracks.

America's most charmingly corrupt congressman, Harlem Rep. Charlie Rangel, has once again introduced symbolic legislation to reinstate the draft. So then joining the army would be something everyone has to do. Sort of like paying your taxes. Eh, Rangel? Eh?

The world li'l-est Scientologist celebrates a birthday. Charlie Sheen and Brooke Meuller both lose important things. Oprah has a new dad. Danny Glover gets arrested. Sunday's gossip roundup is too old for this shit.

Currently, the White House is considering either Jan. 26th or Feb. 2nd for Obama's first State of the Union Address. Do you know anything else that is on Feb. 2nd? Yep: The 'Lost' premier. Obama is definitely a communist.