A thousand soufflés puffed up toward the radiant summer sun in celebration today as chef Nigella Lawson was officially granted a preliminary divorce from an old troll she accidentally married.

Art collector Charles Saatchi — who was caught on camera choking his wife, Nigella Lawson — now says that he is divorcing her for not defending his reputation.

The millionaire husband of British chef Nigella Lawson has admitted to police he assaulted his wife during an argument at a restaurant last week, after initially dismissing the incident as "a playful tiff." Over the weekend, photographs surfaced of Charles Saatchi, 70, grabbing his wife's throat with one hand a total of four times and also pinching her nose. Lawson left the restaurant in tears. A hilarious brunch!

Reports surfaced over the weekend of a recent public altercation between TV chef Nigella Lawson and her ad mogul/art collector husband Charles Saatchi, and now Scotland Yard is said to be investigating whether there was a violent physical component to the incident.

Sales are, no surprise, slow at the Frieze art fair in London, where all the art world people—Charles Saatchi, Dasha Zhukova, Dakis Joannou, Gavin Brown, Thelma Golden—have been circulating among celebrities—Gwyneth Paltrow, Sienna Miller, Sofia Coppola, Kate Bosworth, Emma Watson—for whom being seen at an art event is a nice way of distancing themselves from the contents of In Touch. "I come to Frieze every year," Gwyneth told reporters. "It's something I really look forward to." (Of course, she didn't actually buy anything, deciding instead to pose for the cameras and talk about the election.)