Click to viewBoomp3.com Reality TV star/budding actress Audrina Patridge made an offer that many men simply can’t refuse before heading off to a medical appointment in Century City. Patridge threw down a hefty gauntlet to all near by men and simply said, “We’re on the parking level and my appointment is on the sixth floor. So, we got five floors to make our own version of Aerosmith’s 'Love in the Elevator' for the building’s security guards. Come on, you know they’re bored, so let's give them a once in a lifetime moment here.” The future star of The Last House On Sorority Row began to sing the chorus of the popular hard rock hit in a breathy tone as the doors started slowly close before the pappers’ eyes. Nearly mimicking the legendary “Here’s Johnny” shot from The Shining, Patridge placed one half of her bug eyed sunglasses against the closing gap and asked, “Last chance to live it up while going down….5..4…3.” The door closed before Patridge could say the magical number. [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

The folks at the PlasmaSplasm blog have alerted us to an ongoing and altogether unpleasant issue over at the AMC theaters at Century City. Apparently, an eye-moistening stink—which they've described alternately as "foot sweat," "dog ass," and "like someone soaked a bog-mummy in Killian's and left it in a toaster oven"—permeates the theatres' basement. When their enjoyment of The Bourne Ultimatum was recently ruined by the malodorous fumes, they approached an AMC manager to find out exactly what was being done to rid the megaplex's flagship of the funk of forty-thousand years: