Since the Great Recession, America has become a harder place to live for people with kids. And for the kids themselves.

The complete and total collapse of the global economy had at least one upside for Americans: it briefly stopped them from moving to brand new housing developments in hellish southwestern desert exurbs. Only for a few years though, alas. The great migration of Americans towards hot places their children will come to loathe is back on!

The US Census Bureau, a government department whose primary function now is to scare elderly white people, has taken a look into the future, decades hence, and determined—using the science of mathematical projection—exactly when white folks will lose America.

Enlightened men know that the old system in which the top professional fields were almost completely dominated by"good old boys" simply was not tenable. I mean, the whining alone, year after year... I don't have to paint you a picture. It was just common sense to allow a few more women into the legal and medical professions. Modernization, and all that. Posing for the company "Diversity" brochure. Tending to the legal and medical problems of poopy children. Things of that nature. But, my fellow men, I'm afraid that we have grown lax. Our patronizing offer of PR-inspired pseudo-equality has been getting out of hand.

When we hear about unmarried young couples living together in sin, we're like "Sure, kids these days are living in sin, rejecting god, and fornicating nightly in Lucifer's glory, what else is new?" But now we hear that older couples are also living together in sin. Aren't you older couples old enough to know the teachings of Jesus, about not living in sin?

US pop. reached pi x 100,000,000 today (314,159,265). In celebration, every American ate 100,000,000 pies ("the usual").

Between July 2010 and July 2011, non-white births outnumbered white births 50.4% to 49.6%, according to Census Bureau data released Thursday [NY Times link].

All you need to know about the very latest trends here in the American Dream of USA of America™ is this: love is dead, marriage is an anachronism, the family has disintegrated, and all is chaos. But we're making good racial progress!

It is not hard to explain the prevailing demographic trends in America over the past decade or so: the inflating bubble caused Americans to rush further and further out into the far-flung suburbs in order to purchase homes, to live the American dream; construction and lending skyrocketed along the way; when the bubble burst, our nation was left with millions of homeowners stranded far, far out in the lonely exurbs, with homes they can't really afford, as the wealthy flee back into the cities. And now, we simply wait for the Slumburbs to flower, in all of their awful glory.

The Census Bureau just released reams of data from the 1940 U.S. Census online (the website's been up and down all day; if it doesn't work, try later), and you are going to spend the next hour or so tooling around on the website. I know because I just did it myself.

After 72 years of being kept confidential, the 1940 census will be released on April 2. This is exciting news for historians with an interest in the Great Depression and general census enthusiasts. Actually, it is kind of neat, and the records will be available to anyone online. You just can't search by name, in case you were hoping to dig up specific dirt on your great-grandparents.

Used to be that people here in America would sometimes "move" themselves and their belongings from their present dwelling place to a new, different dwelling place. No more.

We're going to come right out and say it: our urban neighborhoods are being overrun by minorities, and they're ruining everything. Bushwick? Full of minorities. Bed-Stuy? Infested. Even Harlem. All ruined by hordes of minorities. (White people.)

According to data on same-sex couples released by the U.S. Census Bureau, the gayest city in these 50 states is, not surprisingly, Provincetown, Mass., the vacation spot of circuit boys, insane writers, and homosexuals who make a whole lot more money than any of us.

What is up with the white people and their refusal to spawn these days? There is such a severe lack of pasty procreation that now, for the first time ever, the majority of new babies are being popped out by The Minorities. The white supremacists warned us about this, but nobody listened!

The 2010 U.S. census figures have been released. The big picture, basically, is that men are living longer, marriage is downtrending, and the baby boom population is entering their twilight years.

Twitter has completed its 300 millionth user registration, meaning its census nearly matches that of the entire United States. It's economic output, not so much.

What further nuggets of sociology-lite can be wrung from the trickle of data that continues to issue from the U.S. Census Bureau like so much pre-cum? Simply this: everyone's fleeing the frozen North and turning brown.

Even when Democrats' fortunes tumble spectacularly in the short-term, the party can always remind itself that national demographic trends favor them in the end. Many, many old white people will die soon enough. This generation's youth voters are lopsidedly liberal. Meanwhile, Hispanics — who've voted strongly for Democrats in the last two elections after mainstream Republican rhetoric took a sharply nativist turn in 2007 — will occupy a larger and ever growing percentage of the American population. Throw in reliable support from 80-90% of African Americans, and the Democratic party could be dominant in the not-too-distant future.

Attention, data nerds! Numbers from the 2010 Census are being released, which means it's time to start crunching numbers and making colorful maps. New Geography has a bunch, including these two showing the concentrations of black and Hispanic respondents, respectively. Multiply the numbers in the legend by 100 to get the population percentages. [New Geography via Sociological Images]