celebukids
Chet Haze Speaks Out on a Variety of Topics
Hamilton Nolan · 12/11/14 03:45PMHamilton Nolan · 09/24/14 12:15PM
"Meet the Press" to Be Reimagined as Garbage Dump
Hamilton Nolan · 09/04/14 08:52AMBillionaire Bond King's Son Sure Is Making Some Kind of Rock (?) Music
Hamilton Nolan · 08/01/14 11:44AMChelsea Clinton: Money Ain't a Thing
Hamilton Nolan · 06/23/14 12:26PMChelsea Clinton, a woman who was paid $600,000 per year by a television network just to be named "Chelsea Clinton," has been doing some soul-searching. "I was curious if I could care about [money] on some fundamental level, and I couldn't," she says. "That wasn't the metric of success I wanted in my life."
Tom Hanks' Son Has Watched "Def Comedy Jam"
Hamilton Nolan · 02/03/14 10:23AMChet Haze, Theologian
Hamilton Nolan · 01/06/14 11:59AMJamie Dimon's Daughter Doubts Anyone Has Heard of Flint, Michigan
Hamilton Nolan · 12/30/13 02:54PMDaniel Day-Lewis' Son Is a Sarah Lawrence College Rapper
Hamilton Nolan · 11/20/13 03:42PMRonan Farrow Is Looking at You Right Now
J.K. Trotter · 10/09/13 01:38PMRonan Farrow—the 25 year-old Rhodes Scholar, Yale Law School grad, UNICEF spokesman, advisor to Hillary Clinton and the Obama administration, recognized Twitter user, and son of Mia Farrow and either Woody Allen or Frank Sinatra—has his powder blue eyes fixed on you, TV watcher, right this second. Don’t look away.
Hamilton Nolan · 05/21/13 01:06PM
Jann Wenner's Kid Is the New Head of RollingStone.com
Hamilton Nolan · 05/20/13 02:46PMThe Saga of Chet Haze's Lost iPad
Hamilton Nolan · 02/06/13 11:22AMChet Haze Thinks You Voters Are Pathetic
Hamilton Nolan · 11/07/12 11:53AMChet Haze Goes to Africa
Hamilton Nolan · 08/07/12 10:27AM"Africa is so beautiful! Everyone MUST visit at least one time in their life!" says Chester "Chet" Hanks "Haze," the rapping 22 year-old scion of an immensely wealthy A-list Hollywood movie star, in his inimitable declarative style. Here he is, pictured above, posing in a typical African dwelling amid local flora and fauna.
Recent Chet Haze Statements, in Descending Order of Self-Awareness
Hamilton Nolan · 06/25/12 02:11PMOkay, here is the ABSOLUTELY TRUE setup to the jokes which you are about to hear: Chester M. "Chet Haze" Hanks is the Northwestern University-educated son of multimillionaire Oscar-winning Hollywood superstar Tom Hanks. The very definition of a self-made man, in other words. And he's a rapper. Haha. But wait, scratch that—now he's an R&B singer. Haha. I know. Here's his new single. Haha. Stop it, wait, we're getting to the point here. So anyhow, Chet Haze is active on Twitter, for the fans. If you haven't been reading in the past few days, you've missed out, yo:
Chet Haze Apologizes For Being Too Badass For You Haters
Hamilton Nolan · 05/10/12 04:10PMNorthwestern University theater major and former Los Angeles resident Chester "Chet" "Chet Haze" Hanks caused a minor uproar yesterday when he took a brave stand on the Twitter against bullying victims who commit suicide. Alas, thanks to the pussyassness of the world at large, Chet has been forced to apologize.
Ayo Chet Haze Isn't Down With Weak Kids Who Kill Themselves
Hamilton Nolan · 05/09/12 10:49AMSo then, let's all, in unison, read this thing written on the Twitter yesterday (and then deleted) by Chet Haze, the best rapping son of an Academy Award winner Northwestern University has seen since Peter Fonda drunkenly performed "My Adidas" on the quad in 1986. This could be Chet Haze's most controversial piece of Twitter wisdom since "What's your sex playlist called? Mines called 'we fuckin' LOL I'm serious tho."
Nepotistic Celebukid Not the Next Edward R. Murrow After All
Hamilton Nolan · 04/17/12 12:44PMLast year, NBC News hired Chelsea Clinton to "report" on things for them, because here in America, major news networks are purely in the entertainment business and the privileges of dynastic nepotism will get you everywhere. That is why she was hired. Because of who her parents are. It has nothing to do with her abilities, or the concept of "journalism." I'm sure she's nice and smart and all. But that is not why she was hired by NBC News. Okay? Now. How is that going?