Why does the public not sufficiently appreciate the hardworking people at OK! magazine? Last month there were rumors that Richard Desmond, the billionaire British publisher of the laughable celebrity mag, actually flew to America to personally investigate why new OK! boss Kent Brownridge was losing money. The magazine's flack denied this, saying they where "doing fine." Shockingly, it appears what that flack said was not entirely true, because OK! has decided to skip four issues at the end of this year:

It took less than 24 hours for Sean Avery to apologize for saying yesterday that his National Hockey League opponents "fall in love with my sloppy seconds." In fact, he's already flown to New York to grovel before the league commissioner. Although Avery is famous for picking these kinds of fights, it appears the recent Vogue intern's media instincts pushed him way over the line:

Sean Avery has long relished his role as the National Hockey League's miscreant-in-chief, but the Dallas Stars forward's internship at Vogue seems to have sharpened his instincts for provocation to razor precision. Avery was just suspended indefinitely by the NHL for talking smack about two ex-girlfriends, actress Elisha Cuthbert and model Rachel Hunter, who ended up in the arms of other players. His own team said it would have suspended him had the league not done likewise. The truly insane part of the whole incident is that Avery sought out TV cameras so he could broadcast his self-destructive diss. (UPDATE: Video after the jump.)

Madonna and Alex Rodriguez want us to know they're lovers without having to quite come out and say it. The pop singer famously denied sleeping with A-Rod during the Yankees slugger's messy divorce, in which his wife accused him of infidelity. But a paparazzo somehow got a shot of the couple coming off a private jet in Miami, where Rodriguez was to spend Thanksgiving with his ex-wife and children; Rodriguez allowed himself to be photographed at a Madonna concert there (left picture above); and reporters discovered both celebrities traveled to Mexico City the following weekend. In case we didn't get the message about what's going on between the pair, they let their money do the talking, in the Post:

The ignoble end of Michael Phelps as a national treasure has already been sketched out for us by Page Six. If the gossip sheet's sources are to be believed, the 14-Olympic-gold-medal-having athlete's weakness is gambling, garnished with drinking and womanizing. Combine this with his 10,000-calorie diet, and it's not hard to envision the sad future that awaits should the monumental pressure of being the top Olympian of all time push the young man over the edge: Phelps as a pudgy, wannabe card shark, bitterly ignoring the "didn't you used to be..." questions at low-stakes poker tables in Vegas casinos. The scene last weekend:

If we had to list the worst things a celebrity could do in a nightclub in order of ascending dumbness, they would go like this: 1. Bring a gun to a nightclub. 2. Get arrested for bringing a gun to a nightclub. 3. Get shot at a nightclub. 4. Get shot at a nightclub and also arrested. 5. Shoot yourself accidentally with a gun you brought to a nightclub illegally, and then get arrested for it. So New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress truly achieved the pinnacle of nightclub stupidity last weekend by accomplishing #5. And the felony complaint against him shows he damn sure can't claim self-defense:

Have any excess weight? Might you after the holidays? It's getting easier to follow in the increasingly shallow footsteps of Horatio Sanz, the former Saturday Night Live castmember who told New York he'd lost about 100 pounds. "I've been eating better," he told the magazine. And you can too! Publishing bosses are curtailing expense-account lunch options, with one (Random House) going so far as to issue tipping and venue guidelines. If that doesn't cut it you might try, you know, exercise. For motivation, there's always this blog, put out by an Equinox trainer who supposedly "all the Conde [Nast] girls live for," according to one magazine-industry source. Recent more-than-a-little-obsessive entires dealt with cardio workout times (you never need to exceed an hour!) and the entirely natural phenomenon of wanting to sit on your ass rather than working out.

New York magazine broke news of a new gig for Silda Wall Spitzer, wife of the disgraced, whoring former governor: The former corporate attorney will try and "recruit new investors" (good luck with that) for a hedge fund run by some of her husband's old friends. It's a living, and is already helping her look less victim-y and dependent. Less wisely, Silda's husband is thinking about writing a book. Not one that grapples with the hooker thing and maybe clears the air, allowing him to walk past construction sites without getting snickered at, mind you, but one returning him to the holier-than-thou position that once made him so reviled:

Starlets, you never learn, probably because you're not paying attention, probably because you're always as strung out as Twilight star Kristen Stewart looked last night on the Late Show: You must come on David Letterman's program caffeinated and at least attempt to say several interesting things. Mary-Kate Olsen's "so tired" complaint bombed; Lauren Conrad got entertainingly insulted for being otherwise boring. This is the price from promoting (usually vapid) movies from the Late Show couch. Stewart's appearance is one for the protocelebrity textbooks; an epic trainwreck progressing (in the clip after the jump) from severe awkwardness into mild nastiness and, at the very end, a devastating cut spun from precious, precious terrible awful comedy gold.

Despite her repeated public pronouncements of devotion, it will come as no huge shock to anyone anywhere that Paris Hilton just broke up with her boyfriend of nine months, musician Benji Madden. Even if you weren't up to speed on the latest developments — she was spotted with her Greek, shipping-heir ex and rumored desperately flirty with British princes — you have to figure, well, it's Paris Hilton, whose thirst for attention requires not only the intimate affection of various men but also constant press coverage of how those affections fluctuate. But her breakup is worth noting because the mainstream media seems to buying into her psychodrama like never before!

Ashley Dupre appears to be at the forefront of a media blitz: In addition to sitting down with Diane Sawyer for a 20/20 segment set to air Friday, the call girl who brought down former Gov. Eliot Spitzer granted an interview to People magazine, which in turn has been excerpted in today's Post. Dizzy yet? Here's the money quote: "If she could say anything to Silda Wall Spitzer, it would be, 'I'm sorry for your pain.'" Other highlights:

Chris Matthews is becoming the Rodney Dangerfield of TV news hosts. Even his NBC colleagues at the Tonight Show give him no respect. Host Jay Leno just last week led with dashing Matthews competitor Anderson Cooper of CNN, who was first to sit on Leno's couch and got extra time to chat after a commercial break. Matthews? After flying to LA for the appearance, he came out last night after a segment called "Things We Found On eBay," two turns on the couch by self-styled redneck Larry The Cable Guy AND after a special skit involving Larry. Then Larry insulted Matthews with a joke about "The Chris Matthews Show," not realizing the program is known as Hardball (UPDATE: Joke's on me — that's an actual show! I guess Matthews looked annoyed at being interrupted so crudely, or somesuch). Leno awkwardly tries to salvage the situation in the clip after the jump.

Surprisingly, everyone appears to have missed the subtle nuance in a chapter of comedian Denis Leary's book entitled "Autism, Schmautism." Go figure. Controversy arose after the Post excerpted a paragraph from Leary's Why We All Suck reading, in part, "I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic." Last night Leary appeared on the Daily Show to explain that he was quoted out of context, and in reality was taking a sophisticated stand on the scientific mystery of surging autism cases:

Larry King's interview with "pregnant man" Thomas Beatie, now expecting his second child, was a new landmark in uncomfortable television. The CNN host asked if Beatie (formerly a woman) "felt gay," if his wife "felt gay," if the pregnancy might violate the U.S. Constitution and then he gave this sort of dissatisfied grunt when wife Nancy tried to say she knew her husband was a man in his heart. Maybe King, having wed seven times, was just jealous that someone has had a more diverse marriage experience than he has. Click the video icon to watch.

It's been known for more than five years that Prince is a Jehovah's Witness who goes door-to-door trying to win converts to the austere faith, as mentioned in this week's New Yorker. Less appreciated: the musician's growing distance from the liberal artistic values that pervade show business, despite his move to Los Angeles seven years ago. As Claire Hoffman writes, Prince has a budding relationship with Christian conservative media mogul Philip Anschutz, of Denver, and seems to be opposed to gay marriage and adoption. These can' be popular views among Prince's fellow California-based rockers:

Right before he was busted on fraud charges, Rafaello Follieri decided to go house shopping with celebrity girlfriend Anne Hathaway. They wanted four stories: the first two controlled by Follieri, for his con-meetings and fancy con-parties, the top two under the charge of Hathaway, the actress told In Touch. But now Follieri is in jail,on his way to prison, far from his dream-home fantasy. There's poo and rats everywhere, and the Italian high-lifer is complaining, via his lawyer. The Smoking Gun has the documents:

Listen up, voters: It was not Sarah Palin's idea to try and fool you by wearing fancy clothes she would not normally have anything to do with! The Republican National Committee bought an opulent $150,000 wardrobe for her and seven family members before she even showed up at the convention, the former vice presidential nominee told Fox News Channel's Greta Von Susteren Tuesday night. The legendary MAVERICK was just "goin' with the flow... if that's the way they do this." She's never even been to a Saks or Neiman Marcus. Why on earth is she telling everyone this now?

What's the deal Sarah Palin? Is Alaska too small-time for you to bother dolling up your hair all nice like you did for the media elites? The former Republican VP nominee's locks are, in case you didn't notice, way messy since she got back to Alaska; see the photos above, taken at her Anchorage gubernatorial office and at the Anchorage airport. Why is this terrible thing happening and how do we stop it from destroying us all?

One can't help but wonder if Jack McBrayer's character on 30 Rock, Kenneth the page, didn't provide some small amount of inspiration for that Malcolm Gladwell New Yorker article this week on the advantages of being an underprivileged outsider. The hardworking "country boys" once favored by New York merchants went on to run Goldman Sachs and so forth, Gladwell writes, and 30 Rock's fictional GE executive, Jack Donaghy, was similarly optimistic about Kenneth: "In five years, we'll all either be working for him … or be dead by his hand." Salon's Sarah Hepola makes the case in her Q&A with McBrayer that the actor is the midst of an unlikely ascent of his own as 30 Rock's breakout star:

Paris Hilton gave an interview to British tabloid News Of The World which, for some reason, included a picture of her with the ill-kempt reporter. Apparently that's how things work on Fleet Street. Hilton, in any case, made clear that she's ready to move beyond the grasping, body-flashing, blatant-paparazzi-baiting phase of her career to a place where she can act all dignified and above it all, telling the tabloid that her rich, famous ex-boyfriends were only using her for riches and fame: