The recent flood of leaked celebrity nudes was a number of things: Gross, sad, frustrating, eye-opening. And, finally, somewhere down the list, it was: BORING.

Take another look at that $6m spread in People on Jennifer Lopez's newborn twins. It's a picture of parental bliss. The actress displays the requisite ecstasy as she and husband Marc Anthony skip down the front drive, each pushing a stroller. (For $6m, People had a right to a bit of a show.) But turn to page 55, and look closely at Emme Maribel, the couple's daughter. Some dark intelligence is evident behind those eyes. For the close-up: