Sure, Bai Ling's arrest at LAX on Wednesday was sad in a Hedy Lamarr kind of way, but you know what's sadder? Suffering through her explanatory blog post the next day. Apparently camped out in Albequerque, we'd like to issue a warrant for another arrest based on the Celebrities Writing Bad Poetry statute. Witness: "my emotions are running through me like a wild river, tears come from the lake of my heart hurt my eyes." Oh, but there's more!