Instruct your assistant to hold all your calls, poor yourself a tumbler of whiskey, and fire up the Bose Wave to ease you into haunting opening strums of Gustavo Santaolalla's "The Wings"—this next one's going to be a little rough. Sources from the New Mexico set of Jake Gyllenhaal's new movie Brothers tell People that the actor is "devastated" since learning of his Brokeback Mountain sharpshooting partner's death:

Spurred to action by rumors "swirling" on "the Internet" that Tom Hanks had tumbled to his doom off a cliff during a film shoot New Zealand, TMZ.com lurched into debunking mode, receiving assurances directly from New Zealand officials that no reports of fatal accidents involving world-famous personages had been made, then discovering photographic evidence that the actor was seen alive as recently as yesterday in California, shooting Charlie Wilson's War. (Still not dead as a result of a para-gliding mishap: Will Ferrell. Probably.) As it turns out, the "swirl" of the fabricated Hanks tragedy seems to consist entirely of a story generated by this prank site, which makes sending your favorite stars to a grisly, accidental death on the same New Zealand cliffs simplicity itself. Start your own easily debunked rumor today!