It feels so good to bring that headline back again. We have new developments and origin stories; ice-bound catastrophes averted and mysterious crimson disks identified. For all of these stories we have caves to thank (say thank you to the caves. Go on. Say it).

Should you care to hear about the vanishing of bats, islands that melt under the relentless hand of time, and the problems facing modern birds, then this is the week for you. I even managed to scrounge up a bit of cave-related news, although I should warn you now, it isn't very good news. I never promised you I would only bring you rosy-colored cave information; I only promised to talk about caves as much as I possibly could before someone at Gawker Headquarters got wise and fired me.

What kind of science news are you looking for today? Do you want to hear about ancient Greek murder caves? Korean unicorn caves? About those crazy little eyeless fish that swim around in silt-black underground lakes as if to say that eyes are for chumps? You're in luck; all of those things have been discovered this week.

Today in hallucinations turned real: A one-antlered deer ran through two stores in Laguna Beach, was hit by a car, ran to the beach, and swam to a cave. A police officer gave it CPR, and then it died.

Walrus-creature and war-monger John Bolton used to be undersecretary of state for arms control and international security. Guess what the new folks found when they moved into his old office? A dank and moist dungeon, that's what.