We have good news and bad news from the Obama transition team. The cutest Clintonite of all is on board, but perhaps not for long.

Apocalypse Meow! Our endless Summer of Monsters lurches on! The Post reports today about a cat that is 'ear marked' (har... har... wheeze...) because, zomg, it has four ears. A scan of the picture is above. The cat's name is Yoda. It can hear you twice as well. "People do a double take when they see him or his picture," said the cat's owner. "It's great fun showing him off." That's the spirit. "Freak cat! Er'body look! Monster cat!" Oh Yoda. Horrible harbinger of doom you are. Click through for larger image of the demon feline.

A momentous trend apparently began last week in the least likely of places: The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, where the hosts introduced a new "Bleep Photo" feature for particularly saucy and immodest guests. The test drive came Aug. 13 when, while interviewing a pair of women about their ambivalence toward binge-drinking, producers cut out of nowhere to a photograph of a cat eating spaghetti. It was a Random TV Moment For the Ages, rivaling David Letterman's greatest for sheer "WTF"-ness and cultural import. The blip has since been parsed in a variety of formats including FishBowl LA, where it was discovered Monday that the cutaway was merely a "Bleep Photo" to override one of the women's descriptions of being "fucked up."The Soup picked it up as well, rendering even Joel McHale's incredulity unusually authentic. Frankly, we're still confused — but that doesn't mean the idea can't work. Follow the jump for Defamer's own customized "Bleep Photos," culled from both our deep in-house archive and the obscure wilds of the Web. We like cats and pasta and everything just fine, but face it: If you know you're good, then you know you can be better.

Keith Gessen cannot adopt the adorable foster cat we got him, because he is apparently leaving the country soon. So it's available! She's spayed, housetrained, about 6 months old, and v v friendly. So if you'd like your very own Lolcat, email us.

Beloved brilliant genius intellectual novelist Keith Gessen seems a little stressed out! He freely admits that he's losing, or has lost, his mind. (Just when the world needs it most!) He wants desperately to take back the internet, from the geighs, and he speaks for the elite trees. But he promised, last night, to do some things that will help. He will live an admirable life, and he will "adopt the kittens and date everyone." Ok, Keith! Here is your kitten. She is a stray from beautiful Ocean Hill, Brooklyn, right off the J. She lives on your Day Editor's stoop and loves people. Right now her name is "Sammy Davis Mewnior" but you could name her "George Meorwell" or "Mrs. Keith Gessen" or whatever if you wanted to. More adorable photos after the jump!

Ads, of course, are everywhere. But at least back in the good old days (last week), they would only creep into the borders of our TV shows, rather than becoming the entire show itself. Well, those days are gone, friend. Give up your outdated ideas about what programming should be, and settle in with a bowl of wet food and your hungry cat for a fine evening receiving the subtle marketing messages of the "Meow Mix Game Show"!

The demented incompetents a the Port Authority are proceeding with plans to exterminate hundreds of cats at JFK, according to the Humane Society and Mayor's Alliance for NYC Animals. Various cat organizations have been trying, since 2004, to humanely control the feral animals, which live in a rusty truck near Delta's cargo area, but the Port Authority never gave them permission to start neutering the animals, a technique that swiftly reduced cat populations at Rikers Island and elsewhere. The port has been "negotiating" with the Humane Society since August, but broke off talks on Memorial Day, presumably because it thought the disturbing news would get buried amid the holidays (that tactic only works in the days just before a big holiday, monsters). Instead the port insists on sending the cats to a better place, where they will all die:

"We love our cats… and they seem to love walking across our keyboards! You can't blame them, they just want to be near us. With the Kit-In Box, cats have a place to rest that's out of the way, but still an arm length's away from a scratch on the belly. The Kit-In Box can attach to the side of a desk or be placed on top it. Felt pads protect the desk top. Cats are drawn to the soft cushion and the high walls, which are perfect for nesting. The Kit-In Box can support a 20 lbs cat and even small dogs!" [Ephemerist] Bigger pic after the jump.

Out-cute this, Spiegelman.

The San Fransisco Chronicle, that's who. The paper has changed its A2 page, which used to be devoted to life affirming human interest stories about Britney Spears and adorable kitties, to a place for "real" news. The internet has taught these people nothing. [SF Chron]

That's what my ex-co-worker and friend Andrew Belonsky, editor of Queerty, says about our jobs. And indeed it is! I, for one, have guests over to my palatial apartment all the time. Just last night, Andrew came over, and I offered him his choice of dried craisins, organic macaroni and cheese or Georgi Vodka. Guess which he chose? After a few rounds of blogger party game favorite "guess that google image," we stepped out into my hallway so Andrew could smoke a cigarette. Another indication of how glamorous my life is: we smoke cigarettes. In hallways! Like millionaires! I live in the top floor of a four story walk-up. On the stairwell leading up to the roof there are cigarette butts, the insides of cheap cigars and the odd magnum condom wrapper. Of course, I didn't tell Andrew about the last one — I didn't want to make him too jealous of my glamorous lifestyle.

The Daily News had the perfect story on its hands: an exclusive about a lost animal, with a name, being rescued, from the dark scary subway complete with picture. In case you missed the six News stories on the practically (suspiciously!) made-for-media topic, adorable little "Georgia" here jumped out of her owner's cat carrier and scampered into the subway tracks, where she remained for 25 days. Then, OMG, the cat was rescued yesterday by heroic trackworkers, who are named and interviewed, and NYPD officers, who are named and interviewed, and the NYC Transit President called everyone heroes, apparently in some kind of emergency weekend interview. The News nearly had a perfect story, but then they had to make two puns involving "nine lives" and end on this quote from owner Ashley Phillips: "I can't believe she's going to be in the paper tomorrow." Still, well played. [Daily News]

Twisted heiress Paris Hilton hates kittens, especially her shivering, terrified cat Prada, who has "rarely been held or socialized" according to the Kris Kelly Foundation. The foundation let Hilton adopt the innocent kitten in May and has been witness to her heartless cruelty ever since. Cat-hating Hilton didn't neuter Prada for more than six months, and then when she finally took him in she forgot about helpless Prada and abandoned him at the vet for a week until he was rescued by the Kris Kelly Foundation. WORSE STILL: "There were unconfirmed reports that all of Paris' animals, including Prada, were in her Los Angeles home with no one living on the premises for months at a time, save a housekeeper going in to feed the animal." AND THIS IS THE HARVARD WOMAN OF THE YEAR?? Hilton's lame excuse, followed by the Kris Kelly Foundation's outraged press release, and bonus archival cat video, after the jump.

I don't really like to stoop to making fun of stories. You know why? Because I've written so many bad ones myself! Hi-o! Hell, everyone does! And also, who cares? That aside, it's safe to say I may never get over this opening paragraph in the Times metro section: "Across the city, delis and bodegas are a familiar and vital part of the streetscape, modest places where customers can pick up necessities, a container of milk, a can of soup, a loaf of bread." INDEED. Whatever, the story is somewhat redeemed because it is about deli cats, which are the most awesome cats in the world and anyone who is against them is EVIL. What would you rather have, the occasional scratch and cat hair on your bagel or RAT-NIBBLED TRISCUITS?

The saga of the happy cat camp at JFK airport has become even more grim today. A memo from Port Authority General Manager Susan Baer reveals just how far the Authority is willing to go to feed their sick blood lust. Airport employees have been ordered not to feed the cats under penalty of confiscation of their airport identification, thus possibly costing them their jobs. If they can't round up and gas the cats they will starve them all.

JFK airport's "happy cat camp" is set to be looted, pillaged, and leveled by rampaging Port Authority agents today. Adorable denizens of the Catemkin Village—which, as we first learned last week, is made of overturned packing containers set beneath a rusty truck near the Delta cargo area—will be rounded up beginning today and euthanized en masse, despite protests and lobbying from "cat group members."

OMG, there's a little village of stray cats and they all live at the airport in "makeshift cubicles made of plastic packing containers nestled in cargo carts that once carried transcontinental luggage" under a rusty old tanker truck. Airport employees, the most bitter and hateful people on this earth, have been taking care of them for years, as these cats are their last, tenuous connection to their own humanity. AND NOW THE PORT AUTHORITY IS ROUNDING THEM UP.

You know, sometimes we worry that exhibiting the classic singlefier of being a lady who lives alone with two cats will make people think we're some kind of a nutcase. And then we see this MSNBC video of a lady who lives in a two-bedroom apartment with 130 cats. In Siberia but still.

Awwwww! Who's a tubby tabby? Oh, God, it's not even ten yet. [Drudge Report]