Hillary Clinton says she cares about women's issues, but when it comes to supporting actual women, she's just as useless as a Victoria's Secret push=up bra. She doesn't want to do a North Carolina debate, allegedly because of Passover, but really because she doesn't want to detract attention from the Pennsylvania primaries. But what about li'l Katie Couric, who is set to host the debate? CBS is aggressively pursuing another debate so Couric could prove her gravitas with real life presidential candidates. Too bad no one likes when women do anything first, or otherwise. [NYP]

The subprime mortgage situation, the looming social security crisis and the History Channel: old men are ruining this country for us young women. If we were in charge, every day would be talk about periods and make-up day. And here's another thing old men are destroying: The broadcasting career of Katie Couric. Les Moonves, CBS chieftain, blames his own demographic for Couric's dismal run as news anchor. Men don't like getting information from a lady! Well, maybe if that Miss Couric tramp talked less about periods and make-up and more about how WWII was really won, she would do better in the ratings. [pagesix.com]

Earlier today, I claimed that Natalie Portman, who both went to Harvard and is attractive, must be a cyborg because as a rule, women can be dumb and hot or smart and busted. But there is one exception: the hypocritical. By their very nature, hypocrites can embody any contradiction they want. They're that powerful. So even though the Natalie Portman of the present doesn't wear leather, the Natalie Portman of the past did. In Attack of The Clones she wore what she described as a "leather-and-lace outfit." So either her stance on animal cruelty has evolved over the past six years (a likely story!), or she's a liar. Either way, she can't be trusted and must be destroyed to protect the resistance. [via Deceiver]

It's tough out there in Hollywood for smart hot chicks. In fact, it's tough out there for smart hot chicks everywhere, because everyone assumes that they're dumb. Women can only be smart or hot, not both. But Natalie Portman went to Harvard and she's attractive, so the only possible conclusion we can draw is that she's a cyborg sent from the future to destroy us. In this month's Elle she talks about smart things, like why Hillary Clinton matters to women (because she's also a woman!) and why ambitious chicks get hated on. In the attached video, she explains that women can still look good, and not all crunchy and gross, in animal-friendly clothing. In like five years, she's totally going to adopt some Cambodian refugee babies, and then usher in the robot apocalypse.