The Levi Johnston-Bristol Palin custody battle finally ends. The Lohans talk about their daughter. Nicole Richie got a new cat. Miley Cyrus wants a boob job. What's more humiliating than being dumped via press release? Welcome to Saturday Gossip Roundup.

News of Kate Winslet's butt, and of Heidi and Spencer's wedding. Which are sort of the same thing. Madonna welcomes Jesus into her heart, while Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend almost made it.

Now that Britney's sister Jamie Lynn Spears has just "had the damn Caesarian already," you might think the 17-year-old would be free to raise her new baby in relative peace. Sadly, the newest issue of InTouch arrives bearing the gift of postpartum depression; the magazine has alleged that babydaddy Casey Aldridge has been cheating on Jamie Lynn with an older woman, 28-year-old Kelli Dawson. They even have proof: incriminating pictures of the two touching tongues as though they were eight-year-olds who wanted to try out the exotic concept known as "french kissing." Says the mag:

There's some good news and bad news to report regarding Juno Lynn Spears' wedding plans and, in standard fashion, we'll present the bad news first: Jamie Lynn will apparently not be getting hitched, nor moving back to, LA. Sorry to disappoint any of you who adore the sounds of helicopters circling 'round and 'round your neighborhood daily, or the great fun of late-night gurney trips the young mother will no doubt be taking over the next few years. The good news? Jamie Lynn's gonna look hot in her wedding dress! More details on what her trailertastic plan is to ensure she looks "beautiful" walking down the aisle after the jump.

The Spears family is never short on surprises, and today's announcement that Juno Lynn Spears' sperminator Casey Aldridge will go from babydaddy to fiance is one of the most pleasant ones we've heard in years. Casey, who's all of 18, apparently gifted Jamie-Lynn with the extraordinarily detailed-in-description "rock" a few days ago, and People reports that Spears has been flashing it around ever since to friends and family. All we're left wondering is what kind of party the heavily preggers Jamie Lynn will throw come April 2nd, the date of her 17th birthday. Our suggestion? An Abba-themed 70s dance-a-thon, during which JL will sing/cry her way through "Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeeeeeen" over and over and over. [People]