Our secretary of state is biding her time, waiting for just the right moment to strike, according to Richard Wolffe's book on the Obama campaign. And then, when we least expect it, she'll finally win the 2008 Democratic primary campaign. It's true!

It was back in late April that we said "oh, come on" to the news that Norm Coleman wanted to begin oral arguments in his state supreme court election appeal "no sooner than mid-May." Mid-May! Hah! Now it is June. And the first day of oral arguments!

In this week's New Yorker, Ben McGrath profiles Mayhill Fowler, the woman who became famous for fifteen minutes after crashing the private party at which Obama let slip his infamous "bitter" comment about angry white proles with guns (but she supports him!). She then doubled-down for a full half hour after she stealthily taped Bill Clinton calling Vanity Fair's Todd Purdum a "scumbag." All in a day's work for a plucky citizen journalist, "who is sixty-one, with frosted gray hair and gold jewelry, spent the previous three decades as an aspiring writer and the stay-at-home mother of two daughters." Three decades as an aspiring writer, you don't say. Well, tenacity's a dying virtue, as is full disclosure in business practices. A reader at TPM Cafe muckrakes the muckraker:

And to whom? For example, Bright Lights, Big City novelist Jay McInerney donated $2,300 to Giuliani. (Oh, Jay. You're still cute, though). Vampire-novelist Ann Rice? $4,600 to Hillary Clinton. The list, compiled by Nick Antosca, after the jump. (In case you're wondering which candidate, say, Jonathan Safran Foer, Judy Blume, or Dave Eggers is supporting financially. Hint: Dean Koontz is supporting some crazies).

"Would the real Hillary in a private moment go for an Oliveburger or a Boca Burger?" Slate wants to know. Um, who cares? We always assumed she devoured venison and slammed gin in her campaign-bunker. But seriously, folks, there is an entire article devoted to Hil's eating habits (or speculation thereof): "And so, the question remains: How could the lover of the lusty Oliveburger ever settle for a Boca Burger?" (Next week: we check in with Hil's gynecologist!)

The people have spoken and it's the junior senator from Illinois with the pitcher ears by a landslide. If you haven't voted in the Gawker Primary, polls are still open. Actual polls are also still rumored to be open, but you have to go outside for those.

It's generally a great idea to make fun of yourself before someone else gets the chance (and inevitably, says something meaner). It's an even greater idea to inoculate yourself through self-deprecation when you're seen as a sort of political fembot with balls of steel... Hillary. Crying is a good first step. Making fun of your poorly-chosen outfits over the years in US Weekly? Even better.

Is all the "OMG, vote" earnestness getting to anyone else? The lame-leggings purveyor began their voting plea with an extremely ill-advised quote: "Four decades ago, the chairman of General Motors proclaimed, 'What's good for GM is good for America.' Today we're saying, "What's good for American Apparel is good for America.'" (Actually, what ended up being "good for GM" in the following years was laying off tens of thousands of autoworkers from my hometown, but that's neither here nor there!) Given AA's previous foray into politics, who do they endorse?

On this, the eve of the first state primary in years where the outcome is not already a horrifically boring given, rest assured the fate of the country is finally in the hands of the wise and wonderful people who search for stuff on the Internets. Some of the hottest Google search terms today?

Hey Barack Obama! Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz really doesn't appreciate you ignoring him and his friends, okay? "Some reporters say Obama seems disdainful toward journalists," Kurtz wrote in his column yesterday. "But the man who touches so many Democratic hearts feels no need, for the moment, to reach out to journalists...a curious disconnect indeed." Um, Howie, it makes us feel kind of uncomfortable when you show us your passive-aggressive inner child like that. If you stop, we'll totes find someone to sit with you at lunch today!

Before Hillary Clinton showed us that she really does wear her heart on her sleeve (and it's a ladylike sleeve!) she backed out of a Vogue photo shoot because she was afraid of looking too feminine. Editor Anna Wintour was irked. But the Democratic candidate is featured in a February issue of Harper's Bazaar, along with six of the other running candidates. She is not, despite earlier reports, wearing a miniskirt and heels. After the jump, see the pictures of Clinton in all her high couture glory.

Rudy Giuliani is leading the fundraising pack among the GOP presidential candidates! He's raised more money than any of them! Ruuuuudy! Ruuuuudy! Ruuu—oh. By leading the pack, he means he's got about $1.7 million over District Attorney Arthur Branch, aka Fred Thompson, for a total of $11 million. Which brings his grand total to about half of the $90 million treasure chest of rival Hillary Clinton. Maybe he should start dipping into that little compensation fund?