The pope met with his former butler today in order to pardon him for turning over embarrassing confidential Vatican papers to an Italian journalist. As official Church pardons go, it was "intense and personal," and was followed by the customary annual anti-gay Christmas address. But compared to other papal pardons, it barely merits notice:

Paul Dano got his start in the super indie film "L.I.E." Then he did bigger things like "Little Miss Sunshine" and "There Will Be Blood." Now he returns to his indie roots with what sounds like the indiest indie ever.

The former American Idol judge's job offer, Jessica Simpson's training for Hell Week. Bloomberg likes Shiksas, Gerard Butler likes dumb chicks. Paris Jackson's biological father? Lady Gaga: still ridiculous, no word on her penis. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup: