A former Philadelphia narcotics cop testified in court today against six of his former co-workers, claiming the group stole drug money and planted evidence "too many times to count" during his nearly 15 years in the department's drug unit.

For sale for $4500 on eBay: A six-foot terra cotta flower planter shaped like Rick Perry's head. A Texas fertilizer company created Governor Goodhair's chia pet alter-ego during the 2010 gubernatorial election. Cow Wow Liquid Compost also created a chia bust of Perry's opponent Bill White. They then held an "election" to see which "head of state" had better "hair."

Hong Kong's Narcotics Bureau seized 1,250 pounds of cocaine, worth, in their estimation, $77 million, setting a new world record (and they think they'll find more!). Eight people were arrested, including one American, five Mexicans and one Colombian.

Cops in upstate New York seized $10 million in pot crops from a hydroponic grow house that supplied the metro area. Sixteen people—mostly illegal immigrants—were arrested. Illegal aliens distributing drugs? That's like Glenn Beck's biggest nightmare!

Would you like to live inside a hidden bunker in an Italian mansion? A vacancy may open up in one soon! Police in the Italian state of Calbrian had to drag alleged crime-syndicate boss Francesco Maisano out of his during an international bust of 31 suspected mafia goons (or gooni in Italian).

David Barton Gym, the very fancy (and very gay) discotechque/gym chain, is $65 million in debt and bankrupt. The company signed a deal to remain open, though, so Anderson Cooper still has a place to work on those guns.