On Friday, the new owners of the Resorts Casino Hotel officially revealed their innovative marketing strategy to stimulate business and make the local townsfolk proud: fill up the place with scantily clad ladies, put on some naked circus shows, and improve the noodle bar.

Las Vegas: where every imaginable tactic of sex-related extortion will eventually become a business plan. Are you a rich, lecherous man who enjoys escort services as well as golfing, and are frustrated at your inability to combine the two? Well wait no longer, because The Platinum Tees are here to take care of your leering needs. The PT's are essentially a bunch of models from an agency in Vegas, with one key difference: they have been "put through rigorous training" to learn how to be golf caddies. Yes, they "know the difference between a putter and wedge, take care of your ball, clean your clubs, drive your cart, fix divots, tend the pin, and most importantly keep you smiling!" I bet they do.

So much for Rupert Murdoch's crazy scheme to be smart and take the Wall Street Journal's website free: "The really special things will still be a subscription service, and, sorry to tell you, probably more expensive," the News Corp chairman said today at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland. Ooh, what could these "really special things" be? Top-secret News Corp blueprints for how best to simultaneously puss out and alienate readers and advertisers? [WSJ]

"CNN Worldwide plans to increase its staff of correspondents by 10 percent as part of a major effort to increase its ability to produce its own reports." Wait, does this mean we'll have to go elsewhere for our canned and slightly reprocessed wire reports? [CNN]

Conde Nast's got a new high-end way to accumulate subscribers: Google Ads! Why didn't anyone think of this before?