"All the Sad, Young Literary Men has too many men, none of whom is particularly sad, literary or, for that matter, interesting." That's The L Magazine's Jonny Diamond on N+1 editor Keith Gessen's first novel. The interesting bit is how Gawker, you dear commenters, and the scribblers of Magical Brooklynism fit into the equation. "Gessen has rightly and eloquently lamented the impoverishment of intellectual discourse in 21st-century America, particularly in a New York literary scene that prefers whimsy to gravitas, adolescence to adulthood and typography to teleology." (Yeah, Gessen and his privileged band of bores are the answer. Okay, I'll stop.) "And if lit journal-cum-publishing house McSweeney's has come to stand (albeit unfairly so) as shorthand for this particular style of whimsy-sotted, Brooklyn-born preciousness, then online media gossip Gawker has served as its natural enemy, employing snark and irony to interrupt the daydreams of thousands of Michel Gondrys and Miranda Julys." Sounds good. But it isn't!

[Vogue editrix Anna Wintour with fashion designer and former hooker-dater Marc Jacobs at an event at the Brooklyn (hey that's where I live!) museum; image via Queerty. Another image after the jump.]

Last week, annoyingly one-named reporter for The New York Times, Toure, wrote about his middle class guilt and snitching to the cops about a crack house on his block. The article was illustrated with this photo of some handsome residences in Toure's neighborhood. But, oops!

Fort Greene is not gentrifying fast enough! At least that's the experience of cultural critic and dude about town Touré. The single-named author was living right across from a crackhouse on South Oxford street in Fort Greene, only a block away South Portland, Time Out New York's most desirable place to live in 2006. But even with a sushi place on the next corner, there was still a crack house across from his apartment. After a bout of black liberal guilt, Touré tried to get the po-po to clear the streets, but they ignored his calls. We don't judge Touré's conflicted anti-neighborhood crack house stance—since the advent of Google Maps, Mole Edition, we are all snitches now. [NYT]

Hey, so about the economy. It's not that good. And the overzealous real estate market is partially to blame. As consequence, overzealous realtor Bruce Ratner has admitted that the crisis will slow down his Atlantic Yards project. Go to any bar in south Brooklyn and start hating on Atlantic Yards and you'll be talking about developing, not destroying Brooklyn in the morning. Still, it must be said: the part of downtown Brooklyn that Ratner wants to destroy is a dump. Of course it's dubious that a Nets stadium, which Ratner wants to start construction on this year, will make the area any nicer. [NYT]

"Red Hook Ballfield Vendors Get 6-Year Permit"—South Brooklyn hipsters and Mexican immigrants rejoice. [Curbed]

No matter what borough you live in, how much you pay in rent or who your neighbors are, being a writer still sucks. Nouns and verbs are hard to come up with. Even Brooklyn, with all its just-as-good-as-Manhattan verve, can't change that for you. If anything, as Colson Whitehead, author of the revered Apex Hides the Hurt, reports in the Sunday Book Review, it's harder. All the shrinks are still in Manhattan and reading friends' unpublished books is boring. And even a dip in the Gowanus Canal can't cure writers block. Of course, Brooklyn writers hating the Brooklyn writers' scene is a trend as old as metrosexuals.

Good news for people who like theatre but refuse to cross the river into bustling Brooklyn. Brooklyn Academy of Music's acclaimed weirdo video bloody Macbeth starring Patrick Stewart is moving to Broadway at the end March. [Playbill]

Yesterday, a man named Clive Campbell filed a wacky $5 billion lawsuit against rap star and partial New Jersey Nets owner Jay-Z, as well as others associated with the huge Atlantic Yards construction project in downtown Brooklyn (which includes a new stadium for the Nets). The charge was that because Barclay's bought naming rights to the stadium, and was possibly involved in the slave trade way back when, everyone involved was illegally profiting from slavery. So that will be dismissed quickly. More interesting: Clive Campbell is the real name of DJ Kool Herc, the old school master widely credited as the founder of hip hop. So outlets started reporting that Kool Herc was suing Jay-Z—intergenerational hip hop madness! But then it came out that this was a different Clive Campbell [Gothamist]. Too bad, cause that would have been crazy. Now Jay-Z can turn his attention to warding off this "Voodoo Priestest"!:

"True story. My apartment in 'prime Williamsburg' was broken into. The thieves searched out my [Apple] iPod and [Mac] PowerBook, but the didn't touch my roommate's Dell that was sitting out in plain sight on our kitchen table. PS: A kitchen table - suck it Manhattan." [via email] (Photo: Everystockphoto)

Former Daily Show executive producer Ben Karlin seems like a decent fellow, right? He was responsible for some of the smartest comedy to air on American TV since basically ever, that Daily Show book was pretty funny, Deborah Solomon couldn't make him seem like as much of an asshole as she does most of her interviewees. And, as he said last August, when announcing his HBO production deal, he is a man of ideas. Hundreds of ideas. "At least initially, he said, he planned to revisit some of the half-formed notions in his notebook, which he likened to the aging Russian nuclear arsenal. “'Many of the weapons I have may still be good,'” he said. “'Others may not go off.'”" Apparently the idea which did go off was the one he borrowed from a guy in his building!

As usual, a Carroll Gardens elementary school bake sale (and Super Tuesday polling place!) accurately and succinctly sums up the important decision facing our nation today. Brownie or blondie? Choose wisely, America. [Wonkette]

According to "recent polls" mentioned in the Wall Street Journal, Barack Obama trails Hillary Clinton in New York City "by as few as four points." Andrew Sullivan—who, to be fair, hates Hillary—quotes a reader who argues, convincingly, that if New York's primary is going to be a close one, it will be because of the borough divide. The Clintons are still beloved by the mainstream black leaders of Harlem and the rich people everywhere else in Manhattan. In Brooklyn, though, home of well-off white youths and a couple million minorities, Obama's support seems strong. We live in Bed-Stuy. Brownstones, bodegas, and the neighborhood's only veterinarian all sport Obama signs; Hillary's presence is non-existent. The rest of the state, though, will pose bit of a problem for the senator from Illinois. Because it's basically the deep fucking South up there, have you been? [Andrew Sullivan]
Photo Credit: threecee

Part of Heath Ledger's appeal, to a certain breed of cultural snob, was geographic. The Australian actor, who had come to Hollywood at the age of 19, received less attention from the paparazzi and the entertainment media complex when he crossed to New York. But, in exchange, he gained some cultural cachet.

Calling all BabyBjorn-sporting Brooklyn hipster parents! The New York Times is seeking undecided Democrat parents for an upcoming web video. They'd really prefer you be a member of Park Slope Moms (or whatever) and also be one of those types who jabbers on about politics with your pals. Gosh, how ever will they find such people?

Of the 3,000 New Yorkers who die from the flu each year, 800 will be from Brooklyn, according to a city Dept. of Health doc in the Daily News. There's some bullshit explanation about low vaccination rates, mistrust of medicine within specific enclaves in the borough's central neighborhoods, blah blah blah. We all know exactly what the real cause is: the deadly virus vector host that is the goddawful F train.

BREAKING! IT IS HAILING IN BROOKLYN. UPDATE: OMG HAIL IN THE EAST VILLAGE!

Brooklynites! Arrested for possession on October 20, 2006? You're in luck! Someone stole all the evidence. All the drugs from every narcotics arrest in the entire borough that day—43 arrests!—are gone without a trace. The cops have been investigating the disappearance for a year now, but they have no leads. Some corrupt cop had a very happy Halloween. [NYT]

Bay Ridge smells like shit. Ever since a mysterious $6.9 million sewer project was completed in 2006, "a stretch of Fort Hamilton Parkway between Marine Ave. and 99th St." has been blanketed with the unmistakable stench of human waste, according to the Daily News. Which has Bay Ridge's old and cranky residents upset!

You may be shocked to learn that the Gowanus Canal, the tiny little tributary that runs between Red Hook and Park Slope, is a polluted mess. Thankfully, do-gooding deep-canal divers are venturing into the creek to investigate just how polluted a mess it is. The answer: very polluted.