Britain's Thorpe Park was building a new water ride right on top of an ancient burial ground until workers started complaining about cold sensations and other ghostly feelings, so they've called in a paranormal detection agency. Great marketing scheme!

Britain's Diplomatic Protection Squad will now carry tasers to fend off unruly protesters, like those who attacked Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall's car in December, according to the Telegraph. Taser-wielding cops there have a great track record!

Need a refresher on the United Kingdom? Just want to learn more? Watch this clip and wow all your friends with your new knowledge.

The BBC has apologized for an episode of the quiz show QI last month about the "unluckiest man in the world," Tsutomu Yamaguchi, who survived both atomic bomb attacks on Japan. The jokes didn't go over so well in Japan.

Police in Britain released this video of idiot teenagers car surfing in West Sussex, which resulted in driving bans for two people. In the video kids take turns flying around a parking lot, but they don't even do it right.

British musician/activist Billy Bragg has no love for the racist British National Party, which he campaigned against in a recent general election. Now someone (BNP perhaps?), is sending his neighbors a letter calling him a "socialist leftist marxist." Sounds familiar!

The local tourism board of Britain's Suffolk County, in seeking to attract visitors, asked residents to vote for the county's greatest icon. The plan backfired when the singer of the metal band Cradle of Filth won by a landslide.

An open prison in Britain went up in flames this morning when inmates rioted over attempts to make them submit to breathalyzer tests. One officer described the lead-up to the riot as "a scene out of Benny Hill."

A new study by the British Heart Foundation found that in the year 2000, the average British man was 16.9 pounds heavier than in 1986. The reason? Eating lots of shitty food and getting less exercise. You don't say! [BBC]

Gareth Williams, the MI6 codebreaker who was found dead and stuffed in a locked duffle bag, was most definitely not gay, a friend says. Rather, he was practicing for an undercover assignment by hanging out in gay clubs.

Royal wedding mania is reaching a fever pitch, with Britain's Royal Mint yesterday unveiling its new gold coin to commemorate the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Too bad Kate's "likeness" looks nothing like her. Nice try, though!

[Bathers enjoy one of the coldest winters on record from the warmth of Britain's only natural thermal pool in Bath, England, today. Image via Getty]

Much of Europe is out of commission thanks to a crazy snowstorm blanketing the continent. The situation is so incredibly bad that a Lady Gaga concert in Paris was cancelled last night, making this a Snowpocalypse for the ages.

As they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure, right?

As expected, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange was arrested by the Metropolitan Police in London today on a European Arrest Warrant for sexual assault charges filed by two women in Sweden. Assange is due to appear in court later today.

The British government is quietly trying to end a legal requirement that its Advisory Council for the Misuse of Drugs contain at least six scientists and a drug industry expert. Because who cares what scientists have to say about drugs?

Shortly after Britain announced cuts in Royal Navy funding, more oil was found off the Falkland Islands. Oops!

[A swan watches a man dive into the freezing waters of the Serpentine Lido in London's Hyde Park today, amid nasty winter weather across Britain. Image via AP]

An elderly man lost all $126,000 of life savings because he left it in a bag on top of his car, the Daily Mail reports.

A private plane carrying a donated liver crashed and burst into flames today in Britain, injuring the two pilots. Rescue workers arrived on motorcycles, found the liver, and rushed it to the hospital where it was successfully transplanted. Damn. [ABC]