Are you currently enrolled at Iowa State University? Do you have a pulse? Then Rand Paul wants YOU to attend to attend his post-caucus rally on February 1—very, very badly. So badly, in fact, that Paul is willing to personally vouch for you in writing to any of your future employers. As long as you just please say you like him.

On Tuesday, federal prosecutors indicted John Ashe, the former president of the U.N. General Assembly, on charges that he’d received close to $1.3 million in bribes from Chinese real estate developers. But far more interesting than the allegations of corruption (yawn) are the items he’s accused of purchasing with the dirty money—and what they say about him.

Surveys by Transparency International, the leading global anti-corruption group, show that Africa is the continent most consistently plagued by official corruption and bribe-seeking. The latest figures show the fight against corruption there is proceeding rather slowly.

The Department of Justice sued Swiss pharmaceutical giant Novartis twice this week for allegedly treating doctors and pharmacies to kickbacks, bogus speaker fees, fishing trips, and Hooters outings in an effort to promote Novartis drugs.

Shauna Bass is the entertainment director and former East Coast news editor at OK! Magazine. She frequently makes media appearances as an expert on reality TV. Last week, Simba, her pet Pomeranian, passed away. Sad. But Shauna's pain has been soothed by more than $5,000 in donations—most of it from people who have a professional obligation to get into OK! Magazine.

Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan was involved in a pretty bad accident — involved meaning she crashed her rented Porsche into an 18-wheeler. Lohan allegedly claimed that the truck had cut her off.

A research firm working on behalf of the oil industry is offering DC journalists more than $500 an hour to share how they "feel about policy." The real story is how many reporters could freely say yes to that offer.

Lenny Dykstra—the former baseball player famous for sliding headfirst, chewin' terbacky, and picking stocks for Jim Cramer's website—allegedly touted a stock in exchange for money. Might bankrupt former athletes not be the world's foremost financial experts?

Lambda is described as a "hot new olive oil," which is a descriptive category that does not really exist. But it does cost $182 per bottle. "If you would like a bottle for review, give me your mailing address and I will send you one over from Greece in a bespoke gift box," writes the flack. Hey, send two!