Bernie Madoff is about to experience what it's like to have his life's worth taken out from under him. A judge entered a preliminary order today to yank everything he's got, and then some. He's absolutely finished.

Mediabistro's Fishbowl reports that they've received a parcel meant for Tyra Banks (or, you know, her show). We kindly suggest (demand) that they open it this instant. There may be some sort of federal law against such an action, but we simply must know what lies within the mysterious package from Yonkers. Fan mail? Weave? The severed head of Miss J?? You hear me Laurel? Open it!