The New York Times has long been considered the top of the media food chain, the final stop in a journalism career. No mas. In recent weeks, the Times has been leaking talent left and right. Who do they have left that they really need to hang on to?

You people always have something slick to say about our ads. You think you're so fucking smart? You figure out the ads, then. We'll just sit here while you work for free. Uh, we mean...Do the Dewmocracy™!