Who knew L. Ron Hubbard was such a superhero? In this recently unearthed clip from Orientation: A Scientology Information Film, two robotically-pitched Scientology mouthpieces claim that LRH singlehandedly unmasked "the government's" system of "mind control" using nothing but his creative genius (saving millions of Earth Human lives along the way). That is, when he wasn't busy being "fully professional" in 29 other fields. The video also includes cultish quippets from "Actress" Anne Archer and "Actress" Kirstie Alley, the latter of whom calmly explains that "without scientology, I would be dead." But it's not just popular-in-the-`80s actresses giving Hubbard praise; hear from opera singers! Fashion designers! Exercise physiologists! And the most flamboyantly gay chef we've ever seen, or heard, in our collective lives.