The worst thing you can do is to PANIC. So if you are the sort of person prone to PANIC, do NOT read the following facts.

The longer we go without a major financial crisis, the more tempting it becomes for the billionaire investors to jump in with their wager that the next crisis is coming soon. Another master of the universe has officially jumped onto the “doom is at hand” train.

For months now, the world has been zapped periodically by mini financial panics, a sign that money people everywhere are extremely skittish. This morning, we have all the makings of a very bad day.

In 2008, the global economy collapsed. But ever since bottoming out in 2009, we’ve been on a gangbusters recovery. Is it all going to come to an end soon? See for yourself.

Citing dismal conditions at Rikers Island and a 16-year-old who committed suicide after he was jailed without charges for three years, the city of New York announced Wednesday plans to eliminate bail requirements for non-violent and low-level offenders.

The American economy is booming, for the most part! That means that it is constantly a good time to worry about which part of the economy will collapse first. Today: shitty bonds?

Bill Gross, the head of bond firm Pimco, was paid $290 million last year—and then got fired this year! Everybody knows that the financial world is the purest example of pay accruing to winners solely by merit.

The stock market is bananas. Why bother? There are plenty of other places to put your money. Which type of investment is right for you?

Silly Chris Christie. The New Jersey governor's latest rant about the state government going "bankrupt" yesterday rattled financial markets and forced the state to cut its new bond offering by half. Governor Sandwiches will be eating crow, now.

The Way We Live Now: huffing and puffing and blowing houses down. We're talking economically, okay? Home equity has evaporated. Deflation is inevitable. Credit card rates are increasingly usurious. Your safe investments are bubbles. And your painting's been stolen. Blows.