Beyoncé has been wearing some truly enormous clothes lately.

Like the God of the Old Testament, Beyoncé's terrifying wrath is matched in severity only by her devastating creative prowess. That is why on Friday night she released a video for 7/11, a track from her upcoming album that was released on Friday morning.

The summer's most important pop-culture debate: Are Jay Z and Beyoncé—currently on tour together—getting divorced? According to rumor, yes. But according to a tipster with backstage video of the pair: No.

Beyoncé closed tonight's VMAs with a 15-minute medley that spanned almost her entire BEYONCÉ album—she performed at least a bit of almost every song, though "Pretty Hurts" was represented only from a snippet of Harvey Keitel's dialogue from the video, "Superpower" played as an instrumental over the snippet from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's TED talk used in "***Flawless," and "Heaven" was nowhere to be found, except for in our hearts.

Blue Ivy Carter could have stolen this year's VMAs, if only she weren't the daughter of the woman who actually stole the show, Beyoncé. Oh well. Better luck next year, kid.

This adorable, confusingly sexy video of Beyoncé apparently chatting on stage with her daughter Blue Ivy during a dress rehearsal for her Grammy performance of "Drunk in Love" leaked online sometime earlier today. Sample dialogue: "Surfboard! Hi mommy!"

Alicia Keys says her son gave Blue Ivy her first kiss, even though Bey and Jay obviously seek a more powerful alliance.

Jay-Z drops $1M a year on a luxurious dungeon nursery for Blue Ivy because he is both a great dad AND an evil witch.

Beyoncé was spotted shopping Wednesday with Earth's favorite and most important baby, Blue Ivy Carter.

All eyes were on Croatia for half a second Tuesday after an old video of a pregnant Beyoncé standing next to a blue tree and drawling some mess about how it appeared to be covered in blue ivy was "discovered."

When it comes to Beyoncé, conspiracy theories abound — and damn it, it's fun to speculate. But for the first time since she gave birth to the littlest Illuminati Blue Ivy, Bey is willing to address those who said she was never pregnant to begin with.

Why did Jay-Z and Beyoncé name their daughter Blue Ivy? Possibly because they are exceedingly wealthy celebrities for whom the act of procreation is chiefly an exercise in branding... or because "Blue Ivy" is a secret code revealing her membership in an ancient and all-powerful occult secret society. Which could it be??