The Food and Drug Administration is lifting its 31-year ban on blood donation from men who sleep with men. But don't get all excited and gay about it, gays.

Well, so much for cloning Ronald Reagan in my basement.

Aaron Pace is a 22-year-old straight man from Gary, Indiana who wanted to donate blood at his local blood and plasma center. But after undergoing the usual interview and screening procedures, Pace asserts, he was told by members of the center's highly-trained Secret-Gay Detection Unit that he "appear[ed] to be a homosexual" and therefore couldn't donate.