Do you know what time it is? Time for the final awful excerpts of hot lady-banging dude blogger Tucker Max's movie script, that's what time! In the first half of the film, we saw Tucker asserting his status as an alpha male; in the second half, he reveals his sensitive side. Below, the final three lowlights of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell-embracing the themes of multiculturalism, midget sex, and, yes, diarrhea. We hope this doesn't spoil the movie for you: 4. Tucker's Friend Is Down With Mexicans, Mane:

Yesterday we put out a call for the viciously panned script of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, the upcoming film written by I-totally-fucked-that-chick blogger Tucker Max. We immediately received about a dozen copies of the script, which is apparently being forwarded around Hollywood like a list of bad lawyer jokes. I also could have said "like herpes," and I could also follow up by joking that the script is about as funny as a bad lawyer with herpes, haha. Friends, it opens with Tucker Max fucking a deaf girl and screaming "DON'T TAZE ME, BRO!." It is that bad. After the jump, three of the most terrible moments from the film's first half. Jesus, bro:

Back in June we told you about Gopalan Nair (pictured), a US citizen living in Singapore who was arrested for writing mean things about a judge on his blog. He accused the judge of "prostituting herself," and goaded the police by posting his address and phone number. His arrest was international news, but it appears that Singapore's authorities didn't learn their lesson: Nair now says he'll be going to trial next month, facing up to two years in jail. Who is this brave man standing up for free online speech in the face of an unyielding corrupt power structure? He's kind of a crank! But the charming, revolutionary type: Nair is a Singapore-born lawyer who became a US citizen in 2005. He says the he left Singapore because he was "harassed and persecuted" for his political beliefs. Nair has been posting long entries on his blog about his ongoing case. He strikes you as the type of person you see at City Council meetings throughout America, waiting to get up and harangue the politicians about their corruption and failure to fix stoplights. But in Nair's case, he's talking about the cane-you-for-chewing-gum culture of Singapore, so you have to believe he's on the side of the angels. This little excerpt gives you an idea of his personality:

In an NBC Sports news story, Columbia University journalism professor Sandy Padwe calls Gawker sports blog Deadspin "unbelievably misogynistic." But to illustrate the point, the story uses this Deadspin headline: "There's a Bill Belichick Sex Tape? Merciful Jesus, Anoint My Eyes with Clorox." That seems like a sentiment that all genders could get on board with, no? [NBC Sports via Romenesko. Pictured: Pats coach Bill Belichick in all his glory.]

You may be surprised to discover that people are still remarking upon the existence of Tucker Max, the prototypical ex-frat boy who likes to drink beer and bang hot girls and then write a crazy blog about the aforementioned banging that will make you lose your shit, bro. I would have guessed that Tucker would have settled down into a quiet job selling insurance by now after either being disabled in a bar fight or having his genitals bitten off by an undercover feminist. Instead, somebody foolish is paying him actual money to make a movie called I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, scheduled for release next year. More importantly, a blogger who read the film's script is calling it one of the most unfunny productions in years, and has nailed Tucker Max to the wall so deftly we just know he's home right now trying out comeback lines in the mirror while flexing his biceps and getting progressively drunker: The personality summary:

"I read your post on how some of the AOL/Weblogs bloggers are blogging for free. I don't know who the bloggers are or which blogs within the portfolio this applies to either. I was recently hired (signed a contract) to write for one of the blogs. Last week, the blog I'm with sent out a note to all the members of the team that everyone except for lead bloggers and paid staff should refrain from posting until August because of a budget shortfall. On the blog I was hired to write for, we receive just $X [redacted] per post, features (slideshows and such) are paid at a higher rate. I think some bloggers continue because they feel a sense of mission and duty and are really into it. [Emphasis added] I will not write for free."

This is getting ridiculous. Today, Alley Insider reported that some bloggers at AOL have chosen to keep posting for free after cutbacks that would only pay them for five posts per day. It's assumed that at least some people are indeed donating some of their blog posts. And don't even get me started on the Huffington Post, that repository of crackpot rants built by an army of many free-bloggers writing in the name of "exposure." (CEO Betsey Morgan said in a recent interview that paying the HuffPo's bloggers might possibly be part of the picture someday; in the meantime, "It feels very 1993 to say, ‘Hey, it's all about the check that I get at the end of the month.'") After the jump: Econ 2.0, or why bloggers should stop writing for free.

The Washington Redskins Kill The Injuns Yee-Ha football team has somehow flexed its legal muscles and made it impossible for bloggers who care about racist football franchises to embed news videos of the team. How? I don't know, maybe with repeating rifles and relentless Westward expansion and blankets infected with smallpox! [WP via TBL]

Weinstein Company head Harvey Weinstein is blogging away at Portfolio in a perfect storm of terrible news that we are required to cover. He is mad at you for going to Batman instead of some bullshit pretend indie he released to no acclaim. IT WON FOUR BAFTAS. The problem is the lying, biased media. "So, you see, its not that I'm not focusing on great independent films, it's just that no one is paying attention to them." So go see some weepie pretend indie and help Harvey Take Back the Multiplex! [Portfolio via NYO]

White man Michael Tunison (the same white man fired by the Washington Post for having an outside blog-racism in action?) has written a column for TheRoot.com. Who cares? White people like us who control the media, that's who! That's because Tunison's point is that most young whites today have friends of different races and would hate to be called racist, which is true but not that revelatory. The real reason we're interested is that they've illustrated the piece with a photo of Stephen Colbert and his "black friend Alan," played by our close personal friend Jordan Carlos! We emailed with him a couple times, we feel like we know him! I guess having a multicultural cast of friends comes naturally to young whites like us. Actually, we just felt the need to point this out: Tunison's piece is called "Racist: The N-Word for White People." That should be "Nilla." We've been over this. [The Root]

We rarely miss a chance to pick on relentless egoblogger Robert Scoble. But today, RoboScoble is hurting, and his hurt hurts like our hurt. Only his hurt runs about 2,000 words longer. How has tech blogging failed Robert since the halcyon days of 2003? Here's the executive briefing:

Overrated ball-thrower Brett Favre recently announced his intention to un-retire from American Football. He announced this on the program of terrifying Scientologist (and family friend of Joe McCarthy!) Greta Van Susteren-which was odd, because he was looking to be released from his contract with the Packers, not for a lost white girl. You know who else thought it was odd? America's sportswriters! That elite league of old white dudes coudn't understand why their favorite good ole boy QB broke this news to a lady instead of one of them. Thankfully, Greta is not merely a top-rated television hostess-she is also a blogger! So she responded to a couple utterly obscure small-market sports columnists with typical internet heroism. Enjoy!

Hey, here's an idea: If you're a would-be inventor with more ideas than time or engineering skill or business sense, why not just start a blog with all your wacky ideas? Then if somebody actually takes one and invents it, they can give you a cut of the profits. Why, that's just clever enough to be an entry on "Ideas By Chuck," a blog which has much better ideas than many places that are actually paid to come up with things! Chuck admits "I don't have the resources or passion to make these ideas reality," but he does "hope this blog makes the world a better place." And how could it not? Three of our favorite of ideas from Chuck, below. Office supplies, porn, and fried foods all play a role!

Ladies and gentlemen, the proud new owner of the FSU Middlebrow Remix Version of Keith Gessen's All The Sad Young Literary Men is Andrew Krucoff-the former "Gawker Mascot" once fired by Conde Nast for leaking to this website. He was also recently called a "pussy" by the author in question, Keith Gessen! You can see the circle of life turning, turning. So what will become of this coveted and (we daresay) historic volume? All can now be revealed:

Some internet person made the outrageous assertion that hip hop superstar Kanye West might be using some hired help to keep up with the posting on his blog. The rapper has a "ghost blogger" named Marcus Troy, they say. Kanye will be damned if he sits back and allows his fans to believe that he does not personally type every rant and find every photo of oddly shaped foreign water bottles all by himself! Ghost blogger? Psht! Kanye has posted irrefutable evidence that his blog is a one man operation:

The ultimate fighting champ Quentin "Rampage" Jackson got arrested last night for the second time this week! He was reportedly "acting weird," just a day after his "insane chase" with cops in LA. Probable explanation: the massive head injuries Rampage sustained being beaten up by blogger Alex Blagg. [Previously: Blogger Wrestles World Champion Fighter: Find Out What Happens!]

Bob Costas has more than 20 years of experience as a sportscaster. He's done the Olympics six times. But he's most famous on the internet for inviting wild-eyed sportswriter Buzz Bissinger on his talk show in April to rant and project bits of spittle towards absurdly civil former Deadspin editor Will Leitch. Now Costas-one of the most refined and experienced personalities in all of sports broadcasting-is forced to talk about Leitch and Bissinger in every single interview he does. It's his legacy!

Internet person Rex Sorgatz put the pieces together-the New York story on the mean Brownstoner commenter, the Times story on commenters running the asylums, and finally last week's Time piece that was kinda-sorta in defense of anonymous nastiness. Commenters are a trend! Everyone is basically terrified of them! And this weekend, former blog entrepreneur Jason Calacanis up and quit the internet. Or, at least, he quit blogging. And started a private email list! Which is basically the definitive proof that the War is Over and the Commenters Won.

In the inevitable reaction to Playboy.com's list of the hottest female bloggers, a lady has now launched a poll to find the hottest male bloggers. See what she did there? None of the guys from Gawker Media are on the list. It's all just nerds and man-whores. [Mom Generations via PRN]

The hip hop magazine XXL has a serious problem: It was founded back in the days when hip hop people actually wore XXL clothes. Now, everybody wears tight pants, and young'uns don't even understand what "XXL" means. So Byron "Bol" Crawford, a blogger for the magazine's website-whom I secretly love (NO HOMO, Bol) because he is perhaps the most offensive asshole on earth-is trying to revive the relevance of XXL's name by encouraging hip hop to "reclaim its manliness." By, uh, smashing all "teh gheyness."