Rick Santorum says a lot of stuff ("I find it... remarkable for a black man to say, 'now we are going to decide who are people and who are not people'"), so it's easy for him to for forget the specifics. For example, did the candidate, speaking in Sioux City, Iowa, over the weekend, say, as quoted by NPR, "I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money." Santorum is pretty sure that's not what he said. "I've looked at that quote, in fact I looked at the video," he told CNN's John King on Wednesday. "In fact, I'm pretty confident I didn't say black." Pretty confident! That's all we need. "I started to say a word and then sort of changed and it sort of, bleaugh, mumbled it," he explained. Yes, Rick: you started to say a word. That word was "black."

Winter always sucks. (Those of you who don't think that winter always sucks: we believe you'll still agree with the following sentence.) But this past winter has especially sucked. Let us count the ways:

So, following the LOST finale, it seems that the ~Internet~ is divided. Some loved the series finale that was six years—and countless headdesks—in the making, and some hated it. But! The Simpsons beat everyone with its own prediction.

Skeletal oddity Ann Coulter was "BANNED BY NBC," but now she's making the rounds of the fair networks to bleat about her own victimhood: