bizarre
Man's Death Ruled a Case of Spontaneous Combustion
Lauri Apple · 09/23/11 06:49AM
Is human spontaneous combustion a real thing? Damned if I know. But some coroner in Ireland has just ruled that a 76-year-old man who burned to death in his home died after catching on fire without external provocation, so according to that coroner, the answer is YES.
Letter to Editor Advocates Stoning 'Slut Women'
Maureen O'Connor · 06/02/11 05:16PM
Visalia, California resident Shamci Rafani is worried about the effect of sex scandals on our society. So she wrote a letter to her local newspaper, the Gannett-owned Visalia Times-Delta, to offer a solution:
Woman Leaves Dentist's Office with Foreign Accent
Jeff Neumann · 06/01/11 05:27AM
Imagine going in for a rather routine dental surgery, and leaving with a foreign accent. That's what happened to Karen Butler after she was put under and had several teeth removed. "I just went to sleep and I woke up and my mouth was all sore and swollen, and I talked funny. And the dentist said, you'll talk normal when the swelling goes down," she told NPR. But she never went back to normal, and now has an accent that's "a combination of British, Irish and Eastern European."
Palin Victorious at Gettysburg, Pushes Deeper into Union Territory
Jim Newell · 05/31/11 01:10PM
History suggests that Sarah Palin's Bus Army would be stopped and forced into retreat by lamestream media forces at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, making it her furthest incursion into the Yankee North and the turning point for the larger war effort. But alas, the cowardly reporters have allowed Palin to slip through their lines and continue her march towards the munitions port at Philadelphia.
Sad, Sword-Waving Pirate Shot by Cops
Lauri Apple · 05/07/11 04:55PMNewt Gingrich's Grandchildren Will Be Ruled By Atheist Muslims
Jim Newell · 03/29/11 11:55AM
Newt Gingrich, one of the serious Republican candidates for president, is back on the subject of Muslims this week. He's not just concerned that Muslims proper will co-opt his grandchildren when they come of age. He's worried about a new ultra-breed of Muslims, Atheist Muslims, performing the dirty work. Have you heard of these people? They probably live in cities.
This Man Made a Panty Quilt
Adrian Chen · 03/27/11 06:00PMVietnam vet Louis Garrett of Louisiana, Mo. ("friends know him as Shovelhead because of his love for Harley-Davidson motorcycles with shovelhead engines") has a lot of time on his hands. And in the grand scheme of things, fashioning a quilt out of women's panties is not the worst thing he could be doing with that time. Still, it's pretty strange! Apparently the idea for the panty quilt came from a magazine, which makes us think we've been reading the wrong magazines. Garrett also claims the panty quilt was a natural progression from his mannequin collection, since he had been dressing them up in lingerie. Obviously.
Maryland's Same-Sex Marriage Debate Goes Off the Rails
Jim Newell · 03/04/11 12:40PM
Maryland's legislature is so very, very close to legalizing same-sex marriage. How close? Well, the debate is already at that last-minute choke point where a handful of annoying Democrats nearly screw it up for no real reason!
Fetuses 'Testify' During Ohio Abortion Debate
Jim Newell · 03/02/11 02:58PM
Elections really do have consequences, just like people keep saying! Take the suddenly super-Republican empire that is Ohio. What would a hypothetical Democratic leadership be doing in that statehouse right now? Probably hiding under their desks, looking for welfare money. Which is much better than what the current real life Republican leadership is doing today: Giving two ladies ultrasounds during a hearing over an anti-abortion bill.
Delirious Mike Huckabee Describes Obama's Childhood in Kenya
Jim Newell · 03/01/11 04:27PM
Crucial point to make about Mike Huckabee: He's nuts. A nice guy, sure. But nuts! He has no idea what he's saying at any given point. Only a matter of days ago he was telling the Birther crowd to shut up about Barack Obama's birth certificate, describing it as "nonsense." But then he goes and rambles about Barack Obama's childhood in Kenya! What is even happening with this man?
Alleged Nazi Jihadist Blamed Pedophile Pastor For Hatred Of America
Jim Newell · 01/17/11 02:48PM
Instant messaging conversations allegedly written by Emerson Begolly reveal him as anti-Semitic, extreme, armed and dangerous. But they also reveal what he claimed was the genesis of his extremist views: an interaction with a pastor registered as a sex offender.
Nazi Jihadist Who Bites FBI Agents Also Has an AK-47
Jim Newell · 01/13/11 12:12PM
The government doesn't want Emerson Begolly, the 21-year-old former Penn State student who allegedly bit two FBI agents in the parking lot of a Burger King when they tried to question him about apparent pro-jihad messages he posted online, released.
Nude Maid on Trial for Murder
Max Read · 01/10/11 11:18PM
Sometime nude housekeeper Thomas Cordero is on trial for the murder of paralegal John Conley. Cordero claims he killed Conley in self-defense; Conley, he says, attacked "because I have a nice ass." So hard to find good help these days.
Murdered Bush Official Tried to Burn Neighbor's House Down?
Jim Newell · 01/05/11 02:48PM
John Wheeler, the defense contractor who served in three Republican presidential administrations and was found dead in a landfill on New Year's Eve, was acting crazy before his death — and may have tried to burn his neighbor's house down.
The Bizarrely Organized Sex Crimes of a Top Military Officer
Max Read · 10/18/10 10:59PMRob Lowe and Band of Wacky Italians Decide to Buy Miramax?
Richard Lawson · 07/07/10 10:25AM
Tired of buying cheerleader costumes for his hookers, Rob Lowe is moving on to bigger and better purchases. Slightly insane purchases, even. TMZ is reporting that the actor and his business partners, some fatcat moguls, are buying indie studio Miramax.
Utah Man to be Executed by Firing Squad
Ravi Somaiya · 04/23/10 02:00PMA Matt Taibbi Freakout
Hamilton Nolan · 02/24/10 04:54PM
"'Fuck you,' [Matt Taibbi] snarled, and then picked up his mug from the table, threw his coffee at me, and stormed out." It would be awesome if the final scene of this new Vanity Fair piece on the history of The Exile was a complex, multi-player joke by Matt Taibbi and Graydon Carter on everyone else in the media. Otherwise it's just bizarre. I mean it would be bizarre if Matt Taibbi were besties with Graydon Carter, but not as bizarre as Matt Taibbi snapping violently because a reporter failed to praise his work. Although maybe he still has the ol' horse semen running through his veins like journalistic fire!
Anyhow the whole story is great, read it all.
Motivational Speaker Successfully Convinced Random Guy to Murder Him
Hamilton Nolan · 01/28/10 11:13AM
Police now believe that Jeff Locker, a distraught motivational speaker beset by debt, drove to East Harlem last July, bought condoms at a bodega, then asked a man named Kenneth Minor to kill him, for his ATM card. Minor obliged.