According to Afghanistan’s main intelligence agency, Mullah Mohammad Omar, the Talibans’ spiritual leader turned “secretive head” and lead insurgent after the September 11 attacks, died over two years ago. And as of right now, it’s unclear exactly why it’s taken so long to report the death of the former Bin Laden confidant.

Waging jihad from a concrete compound with only three of your wives gets lonely. Thank God for “fairly extensive” video collections of porn, which Osama bin Laden allegedly had, and which may or may not now be in U.S. intelligence hands. But you’ll never know, because Uncle Sam’s sticky fingers aren’t sharing.

The Navy SEALs who killed Osama bin Laden want $11 million from Uncle Sam for a state-of-the art workout center. Which isn't as much as it sounds like, really, I mean, it's not like they're a Texas high school football team or something.

International editions of the New York Times appeared in Pakistan Saturday with a huge gaping white space where a story on Pakistan's alleged ties to Osama Bin Laden should have been, according to multiple reports from journalists and observers in the region.

In an effort to boost tourism, Abbottabad, the Pakistani city where Osama Bin Laden was killed, is building an amusement park. There will be all sorts of fun activities, including a zoo, a paragliding club, a rock climbing wall, water sports, and even mini-golf. But will there be a Zero Dark Thirty ride or anything else related to the city's one-time most famous resident? Alas, no.

Kurt Eichenwald, the disgraced former New York Times reporter whose career went up in flames after he got caught secretly paying thousands of dollars to a child pornographer he wrote about, is on the comeback trail. Today he published an op-ed in the New York Times claiming to have evidence that the Bush Administration is guilty of "significantly more negligence" in ignoring 9/11 warning signs "than has been disclosed." That may be true, but save for a few interesting details, the evidence he presents has been in the public record for nearly a decade.

The Obama Administration has released roughly 200 pages of documents found in Osama bin Laden's Abbottabad compound as part of the ongoing Murderversary Spectacular. Here are the highlights:

Chet "CHET HAZE" Hanks is not just a rapping Northwestern University fraternity member and A-list movie star scion; he is also true American patriot. On this peerless day in American history, Chet took to Twitter to patriotize your bitch ass.

The greatest benefit of the assassination of the world's most wanted terrorist: "a short-term psychological boost to financial markets." I mean, killing this dude is no "April non-farms payroll data," but we'll take what we can get.

The FBI is warning that al Qaeda may be preparing to offer adjustable-rate mortgages based on the bubble-inflated value of the homes of borrowers unable to repay them, leading to upwards of $1.3 trillion in potentially non-recoupable losses, according to an intelligence report distributed to law enforcement authorities across the country this morning. The alert said al Qaeda "hoped to disrupt the U.S. economy and has been planning the attack for the past five years."